Shattered dreams
by Djuro
Summary: Tori is sick. Very sick. Andre, Jade, Cat, Robbie and Beck are there. They will help. They are ready to do everything they can. But will it be enough? Read/review. Rating it T for content and language.
1. Why?

Shattered dreams

"I'm sorry Miss Vega. I'll give you the names of our best specialists. They will do the best they can."

Tori took the file her doctor had given her and walked out of his office without saying a word. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to think. She didn't understand why this was happening to her. A certain specter of emotions was fuming inside her. It went from anger to fear, and everything that came between. One moment she wants to drop on the ground and cry. The other moment she wants to throw a tantrum and break everything inside a room. Then a moment of serenity hits her, telling herself that everything is going to be fine.

Right now, she was walking outside of the hospital. She was glad that she came, yet at the same time wished she never found out what was going on. She had ignored the pain for too long. At first the pain was small. Barely noticeable. It was more annoying than it was painful. Then it became worse. It became tolerable. But as time passed, it became worse. It came to the point that she couldn't stand by herself. She either had to sit down or lie down, and wait until it was gone. It became so bad that she would run out of classes into the restroom and simply collapse there until the pain went away. She didn't tell anyone. She tried to convince herself that it would go away. That she would be better if she let time heal it. That she could walk it off, and that mentality might cost her everything. She would have continued her game of ignoring and denying had Trina not found her at home, lying in the toiled and clinching her stomach. Trina immediately wanted to tell their parents, but Tori didn't want to. She didn't want them to worry. She didn't want anyone to worry. She even lied, telling her that she must have eaten something bad. Trina didn't buy it. She gave her an ultimatum. Go to the doctor, or she would tell them. And now, after Tori had done the first, the second one became unavoidable.

She didn't know where she was walking. Her feet were going by themselves, while her mind was preoccupied with every possible scenario that would happen. How would her parents react? Would they be sad? Would they be angry that she was so dumb and didn't go to the doctor sooner? Would they be mad that she didn't tell them? Would they reassure her that everything would be fine? She didn't know. She didn't know anything right now. She only knew one thing. She was sick. Very sick.

"Hey, Tori!" the familiar voice snapped her out of the mess her thoughts were. She turned around to see Andre walking towards her. She hadn't even noticed that she was close to his home. She didn't even know for how long she had been wandering around.

"Hey." She weakly told him, stopping and waiting for him to catch up. She saw his expression change when he came closer. He rushed towards her, his usual bright, wide smile being replaced by worry.

"What's wrong?" He asked, placing his hands on her arms.

"Nothing. Why?" Tori asked in a weak voice. She tried to be convincing, but she was failing miserably. She didn't have the strength to do it. She couldn't focus on it, as much as she tried.

"Don't tell me it's nothing." He said in a worried tone.

"Why do you think that something is wrong?" she asked him, trying to be more convincing. But her voice only became weaker. It became harder for her to even think straight. He moved one hand to her face and slowly brushed of a tear from her cheek with his thumb. She looked at it. She didn't even notice that she had been crying. She didn't notice that she was crying right now.

"Tori, did something happen?" he asked again, his voice soft, yet filled with concern. She weakly shook her head before she began crying openly. He wrapped his arms around her and let her sob into his chest. He expected her to collect herself soon, but she didn't. They stood there like this for fifteen more minutes. Her crying didn't stop. It didn't get weaker. He could swear it became worse the longer it lasted.

"Come on, I'll take you to my place." He told her as he moved towards her side, one arm around her waist, the other one holding her hand. After five minutes, they were at his place. He walked her over to his living room and sat her down. He silently thanked god that his grandmother was spending some time with his aunt now, so he had the house all for himself. After getting some lemonade from the kitchen, he walked over to the living room, placed in on the table in front of Tori and sat down next to her. She still hadn't stopped crying.

"Tori, please, what happened?" he asked her again, cupping her cheeks and making her look at him. She saw her brown eyes for a moment before she closed them again and continued crying. He pulled her closer to him, hugging her and trying to calm her down. Then he noticed a large paper envelope on the table.

"What's this?" he asked, but got no answer. "Can I see what's in there?" he asked again. He felt her nodding. He took the envelope and opened it. He took out a few x-rays and quickly looked at them. Then he took out a sheet of paper. He held it in one hand, the other arm still wrapped around his crying best friend. He read everything on the paper and looked back at her. His jaw dropped.

"No." he gasped as he read the last few lines again, then again, then again. He must have read them at least a hundred times. He didn't believe it. He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to. It couldn't be. Not her. Not something like this. He placed both hands on her shoulder as he pushed her away a bit so she would face him.

"Tori, tell me that this is not true?" he said in a desperate voice. "Please, tell me that this is some sick joke!"

"I… I wish I could tell you that. But it's true." She said trough her sobs.

"This can't be."

"But it is."

"How? This didn't just come overnight Tori. This can't just happen."

"It didn't. Trust me… it…it… it didn't." she said before breaking down again. He wrapped his arms around her again. He felt his chest tighten. He found it hard to breathe. He began choking up himself. Soon, tears were running down his cheek too. He took the paper one more time. He read it again, hoping that he read it wrong the hundred times before. He read it one more time, four words that would stay burned within his memory forever: Cervical cancer, stage II.

He tried to remember biology classes. They had done some types of cancer, but that was a long time ago. He cursed himself when he still couldn't remember anything about it. He knew what it was and what it affected, but he didn't know any details. He wanted to scream. He wanted to break something. He became angry: angry at life; at god for letting this happen to his best friend. "_Why is this happening to her!_" he shouted in his head. This wasn't fair. This wasn't supposed to happen.

"What did the doctor say?" Andre finally asked after a long silence.

"I… I need surgery." Tori weakly sobbed.

"Alright, you will have surgery, they remove it, and then you will be fine."

"It's… not that easy." She weakly said. He sighed. He knew it wasn't. He simply didn't know what to say. He wouldn't show her that he was on the edge of crying himself. He couldn't do that. She needed support. She needed someone strong next to her.

"Tell me then."

"The success rate of healing is around fifty percent." She weakly said. She felt Andre tense up at the information. Fifty percent. Her life was based on a chance equal to a coin toss.

"Tori… I…"

"If the surgery doesn't help, I'll need to have chemotherapy. And if that doesn't work…"

"It will. It must work. You can't think like this." He cut her off, realizing where she was going. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to think about that option. He didn't care about the chances. He knew that Tori would make it. She had to make it.

He felt hot tears run down his own cheek. The situation had just now really hit him. She is sick. Very sick.

"Even if it works, if I get better, the doctor said that it can come back at any time. There is a chance that I won't be able to have kids… Why is this happening to me?" she finally asked before breaking down again.

"Do your parents know?" he asked her. She only shook her head. He cupped her cheeks with his both hands. She looked into his dark eyes, watching the tears form in his eyes.

"You will make it. I'll be there for you. I promise. I won't let you go trough this by yourself." He told her, his voice breaking in the end. He hugged her again, swearing to himself that he would be there for her. That he would do everything he can to help her. He would stay at the hospital forever if he had to. He would sleep on a chair or heck, even the cold floor if necessary. But one thing was clear, crystal clear, to him. She would make it. She had to.


	2. Telling everyone

„I'm sorry mom." Tori said as she was sitting on the couch. Her mother was sitting on the other end of it, crying uncontrollably. Her father was reading the paper a hundredth time, just as Andre did. The same expression of disbelief was visible on his face and noticeable in his voice. He lowered his hand with the paper and covered his eyes with his other one. He tried to stop the tears, but to no avail. He sat down next to his wife, putting an arm around her. Trina was sitting next to Tori, her arms wrapped around her baby sister. Tori sat there, knees hugged to her chest, her head resting on them. Silent tears were running down her face. She felt guilty. She knew that none of this would be happening had she gone to the doctor sooner.

"It's going to be okay." Trina whispered to her, trying to calm her down. She felt Tori lean on her, so Trina pulled her a bit closer, leaning Tori's head on her shoulder. She gently stroked her hair. She looked over at her dad, who was trying to calm Holly down. David and Trina seemed to communicate simply trough the way they looked at each other. They both understood one thing. They were going to be the support for the sick daughter and the desperate mother.

"Tori, let's get you to the specialist Dr. Walters has written down. I want my little girl to get better as soon as possible." David spoke up calmly.

"Okay. I need to change quickly." Tori said as she got up and went upstairs. David looked back at Trina, who sighed and brought her hands up to her face. She leaned on them, trying to get herself together. She couldn't break down like her mother.

"It's going to be okay. Tori is strong. She can make it and she will make it." David said looking at Trina first, then back at his crying wife.

"You are right. She will." Trina said as she got up and walked towards the door. "I'll wait outside." She said and left.

"Holly, please. Get a grip." David said as he looked back at his wife.

"Get a grip? David, Tori has cancer. Do you know what that means?" she yelled.

"Shh." He shushed, looking over at the stairs, hoping Tori didn't hear her mother's outburst.

"Holly, I know what that means. But we have to keep it together for her. She is the sick one, not you!" he whispered, cupping his wife's cheeks, making her look at him. She saw the tears slowly form in his eyes. She exhaled sharply, the desperation overcoming her. He wiped away the tears when he heard footsteps on the stairs.

"I'm ready." Tori said as she came down into the living room.

"Trina is already waiting outside honey. We'll be there in a moment." David said to her in a soft voice. Tori nodded and went outside. David sighed and turned back to his wife.

"I'll take her to the specialist. You don't have to come. I don't think you'll be of any help in this shape. Stay here and calm down." He said as he gave her a small kiss and went upstairs to change himself. He was still in the uniform, since Trina called him while he was working. He couldn't remember ever driving so fast when he heard that Tori was sick.

"Keep it together, David. Keep it together, she needs you. She needs all the support in the world." He told himself while he was searching his closet for something to wear.

Tori walked outside and saw Trina leaning on her car. She rubbed her eyes with one hand while she held the other one on her stomach. Tori slowly walked over to the car. When Trina noticed her, she quickly turned away and wiped her tears away as good as she could.

"Dad said we'll leave in a few minutes." Tori weakly said. She blamed herself for the pain her family was in. This was the reason she stayed silent for so long. She could take pain, as long as it didn't affect and hurt the people around her. Now, she saw her mother completely break down, while her father and Trina tried desperately not to loose it themselves. She wasn't dumb. She saw how they wiped away the tears. She heard the quick, sharp breaths they did while fighting the sobs.

"How do you feel?" Trina asked her, snapping her out of her thoughts. She looked at her. Trina was worried. Behind her egotistical façade was still her older sister. She knew that Trina had always been overprotective with her. When she found her lying on the bathroom floor that day, it took hours of begging and convincing from Tori so that Trina didn't drag her to the first hospital.

"I don't know." Tori honestly said. She didn't know. She was overwhelmed with everything. Guilt, fear, anger, desperation, sadness; simply all of it.

"You are going to be fine." Trina told her as she placed a hand on her sister's arm, gently squeezing it. She felt Tori shaking under her hand. She saw the tears forming again in her eyes. "Tori?" Trina asked, worry clear in her voice. She didn't try for a moment to hide it.

"I'm scared." Tori said before she began crying herself. Guilt and fear: two emotions that haunted her since she found out. She felt strong arms around her. She leaned her head on Trina's shoulder as she softly cried.

"You don't have to be scared. I'm here." Trina said trough her own sobs. She never imagined that something like this could happen. Until today, their lives were peaceful. They had no worries. School was doing great. They have great parents who love them and care about them. But now, life wanted to take away her baby sister. No. She wouldn't let that happen. She didn't care what she had to do, but she wouldn't give up on her.

They heard the door open, as Mr. Vega stepped outside. He bit his lips when he saw his daughters standing there, both sobbing. It took the man everything he had not to cry himself right now. He let out one heavy breath before he walked over to them.

"Let's go." He said as he opened the door for his daughters. He got into the drivers seat and drove off.

At the same time, Andre watched his friends around him stare at him in disbelief. He had called them to come to his place, telling them he had very bad news. Yet, none of them even imagined that it would be this.

"Are you completely sure?" Beck asked again.

"I am. I read that damn diagnosis at least a thousand times." Andre said as he dropped down on the chair. He watched his friends. They didn't believe it. And he couldn't blame them. He saw it with his own eyes and couldn't believe it himself. Jade got up all of the sudden.

"Where are you going?" Beck asked her.

"I'm going to see her. I won't let her stay by herself, she'll do something stupid." Jade said, yet her voice lacked something. It wasn't as cold and dreadful as it always was. She was concerned herself. It was hard to see, but everyone noticed.

"She's at the doctors now. She texted me a few minutes ago that her father was taking her to the specialist her doctor had told her about." Andre said. Jade sighed and walked back to her place. She sat down next to Cat again.

"Are you okay?" Cat asked her. Jade looked at the redhead next to her. She wanted to say something sarcastic, but decided against it.

"No. I'm not." Jade said before looking back at Andre. "How was she when she told you?"

"How do you think? She was crying here for at least two hours. It was hard even looking at her, I can't imagine how she must feel." Andre said before getting up. He began pacing around.

"Dude, calm down." Beck told him as he grabbed his arm.

"How can I calm down? She has cancer, Beck. Do you even know anything about cervical cancer?" Andre basically yelled back at him.

"I do, okay." Beck yelled beck before walking a few steps away. "My mom's cousin had that a few years back. That was why we went to Canada so often."

"Mariah?" Jade asked, looking up at him. He nodded as he drew his hands trough his hair.

"And how is she?" Cat asked, hopefully looking at him.

"She… she didn't make it." Beck said before sitting down again. "She didn't. She died a few weeks after the surgery. They weren't able to remove the tumor, and she was already too weak for chemotherapy." He explained. He watched everyone's expression change, except Jade's. That didn't surprise him, since she already knew about it. He also expected that it was the first thing that came to her mind when Andre told them.

"That won't happen to Tori. She is going to make it." Jade said, trying to sound convincing. But it didn't help. Everyone already had run the scenario in their head. The scenario where Tori dies.


	3. Dr Samuels

„Don't be nervous honey. Everything is going to be alright." David tried to calm his daughter down. She wasn't even trying to hide the stress. They were sitting in the waiting room. Tori knew that everyone tried to calm her down. They all wanted to support her. But she knew that they were trying to convince themselves as much as her. She knew that they were as scared as she was.

"It's okay dad. You don't have to say it every few minutes." She told him with a small smile. He laughed at himself and let out a small sigh in the end.

"I'm sorry. I just…"

"We just don't know how to react." Trina jumped in. David thanked her with a quick nod. She hit the nail on the head with that one.

"I understand." Tori said, looking back at her hands. She was shaking. As much as she tried to hide it, to stop it; she couldn't.

"We won't be so weird in a few days, I promise." Trina said as the nurse called them up.

"Doctor Sammuels is waiting for you." She told them before she went back to her desk. They got up and walked towards his office. A man, mid forties, was sitting on his desk, reading the file David had given the nurse when they arrived. The doctor stood up when he noticed them walk in and extended his hand.

"Good day. My name is Leonard Samuels and I'll be your doctor. Which of the two is Victoria?" He asked after shaking their hands.

"Me." Tori weakly raised her hand, lowering it immediately to hide the shaking.

"Mhm. Victoria, I'm going to be honest. I talked to Dr. Walters already, and he gave me all the details. You already know your diagnosis, cervical cancer, stage 2. It is actually rare that a girl your age has that type of tumor, but still, rare means possible. Stage two means that we are going to attempt surgery, but there is a big chance that it won't be enough. So, after your surgery, after we get the results, you might have to go trough chemotherapy. Do you know anything about that?" He asked her, seeing how nervous she already was.

"I heard about it, but I don't know exactly what it is." She told him weakly.

"Basically, we will give you some substances that will target the fastest dividing cells. Those are the cancer cells. So it's basically medicine, but I will tell you right now, there are a lot of side effects."

"For example?" David jumped in, wanting to know as much as possible. Everyone listened up.

"For example, temporal hair loss. You are a pretty, young girl and this might be a bigger problem to you at first, but don't worry. It begins growing back a few weeks after the therapy. Also, fatigue is a big issue, so you would need to relax and rest as much as possible. Another thing is nausea. You would feel sick every now and then. But whatever you do then, you would need to eat and consume as much fluids as possible, no matter if you don't feel hungry or anything. Your body needs the energy. The last important side effect is that your immune system would become weaker. So hygiene becomes priority. That's about it. Right now, let's hope none of this will be necessary." He explained.

"When will she have the surgery?" Trina asked, glancing at her baby sister, who stayed quiet during the whole thing.

"I will schedule it next week. I am going to contact you a few days before, so don't worry. I'm doing the surgery myself. The usual recovery time from it is four to eight weeks. We will keep her the first two at the hospital, and then you can take her home. During that time, avoid all hard physical activities and stress as much as possible." He explained as he took a piece of paper out of his desk and wrote something on it. "Here is my number. If you have any more questions or something happens, you can call me directly." He said as he handed Mr. Vega the number.

"Trina, can you take your sister to the car, I have to talk to Doctor Samuels." David asked. She nodded as she helped the still silent Tori up. When they walked out of the office, David turned back to the doctor.

"Tell me honestly, what are the odds?" He asked.

"Fifty-fifty. It's not the surgery that is dangerous. The problem begins if chemotherapy becomes necessary. The important thing is how her body reacts to the therapy. But let me assure you, we will do everything we can from the medical perspective. What is as important is that Victoria doesn't give up herself. It happens often that people simply give up once they find out that they have cancer, and don't even fight it. She needs to stay positive and keep her desire to live. As much as it sounds as a placebo, it's incredibly effective." Samuels explained.

"I understand. Thank you, doctor." David said as he they shook hands.

Outside, Trina and Tori were sitting in the car. Trina didn't take her eyes of her sister. Tori looked defeated. All this must have been too much for her to comprehend in only one day. Trina didn't know what to say. David and she had already said that line a thousand times today: "Everything is going to be fine." She knew that it wasn't true. She knew that they were in for a ride now. It would be a long road to recovery for Tori.

After a few minutes, Mr. Vega got back and started the car.

"Did the doctor tell you anything more?" Trina asked him as he started the car.

"No. Just the regular stuff with our insurance and everything." He lied, not wanting to upset Tori even more. Right now, he only hoped that the surgery would be a success.

"Dad, can you drive me to Andre's?" Tori suddenly asked, making her dad and her older sister turn around to face her.

"Sure." He answered before he turned back and drove off.

In the meantime, the gang had done a lot of talking. Still, they couldn't agree on the stance they had taken. Jade, Beck and Robbie had left, leaving Cat and Andre by themselves. They just sat there for a while, trying to absorb all the information they received in the past hours.

"Do you think that Tori will make it?" Andre asked Cat. She turned around to look at him. He didn't look at her. His eyes were glued to the floor. She assumed he wanted to hide the tears. She knew how much Tori meant to him. He always cared about her. Cat did assume that there was even more to it, but now was not the time to go into that.

"I don't know." Cat honestly said as she sat down next to him. She leaned onto him, trying to comfort him as much as she could. They sat there in silence again, one wanting to cry while the other one wanted to break every piece of furniture in the house. The silence was interrupted when there was a knock on the door.

"Who's that?" Cat asked.

"I don't know. Maybe someone forgot something." He said as he got up and opened the door. He froze for a moment when he saw Tori standing there. Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around her, as if she had been missing for a long time and he found her again.

"I've seen the specialist." She told him as she hugged him back. He pulled away and looked at her, trying to read her expression. He didn't know if he should be worried or relieved at her stoic behavior.

"Come in." He told her as he took a step aside. The moment she walked in, her and Cat made eye contact. Tori was at first surprised when she saw her friend sitting there. She looked back at Andre who looked down, as if he was ashamed that he told the others. Maybe he should have left that to Tori, but he felt he had to tell them. When Tori looked back at where Cat had been, she only found herself hugged again, this time by the little redhead. Cat held her for dear life, as a child would hold his favorite toy when somebody would try to take it away.

"Tori, I'm so sorry." She heard Andre say. "I told the others already. I… I needed to talk to someone." Andre said, not daring to look back at her. Tori smiled a weak smile as she hugged Cat back.

"It's okay. I'm glad you did. I don't think I could have yet." Tori weakly said. Cat pulled back a bit to look at her.

"How are you?" Cat asked, still not letting go of her.

"I'm okay. I talked to the specialist and he told me everything."

They sat down as Tori explained to them what the procedure would be. She told them that the surgery would be in a week. She also told them what Dr. Samuels had told her about the possible chemotherapy. Andre and Cat listened to everything she said. They admired the fact that she stayed stoic trough all this. Both didn't know if they would be able to stay as calm as she was. If only they knew…


	4. Surprise quest

It was already midnight. Tori was lying in her bed, thinking about everything that had happened in the last 20 hours of her life. Her room was filled with music she never thought she would listen to. Yet, it did help her. Nick Cave's collaborations with Warren Ellis were doing a fantastic job at both keeping her calm and yet creating an atmosphere for her in which she could think and stay as rational as possible. And she needed that mindset now more than ever.

The whole day, the worst possibilities have gotten through her head: her dying during the surgery; the surgeon making a mistake; the chemotherapy not working etc. All that had crossed her mind more than once. She didn't tell the others, though. She couldn't. They were worried enough as it is. And it was all because of her ignoring the obvious for so long. Now, everyone was hurting because of that. Her mom was an emotion wreck by now. Her dad tried to stay as calm and collected as humanly possible. Still, she saw him wipe away his tears. She heard him tell Holly to get a grip. She saw him space out every now and then. By now, Trina was more protective of her than David himself. The whole day, she would check on Tori every hour or so, asking her if she needed to talk or anything. The fact was, Tori did need someone to talk to. She felt the need to scream as loud as she could, but she couldn't. She couldn't make the others worry more than they already do. Andre was worrying her more than anyone else. He looked beaten. Tori saw it. She saw the desperation in his eyes. She knew that he wanted to help, to do something to make things right again. Make it the way it was. But he knew he couldn't; that it was out of his grasp. He didn't know what to do. He could loose his best friend and there was nothing he could do about it.

Cat was the same. At Andre's place, she wouldn't let go of Tori. She felt as if Cat tried to prevent her from ever leaving. The idea that she made Cat cry was what hurt her the most. She never wanted to hurt the others. That was why she hid it. Why she hid the pain she had been in for months. And now, it came back with a vengeance. Now, she might hurt them more than anyone ever did.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Tori got out of her bed and walked downstairs. When she opened the door, she was shocked to see who was standing at her porch on this late hour.

"Jade?" Tori gasped, not knowing what she should say. She hadn't really talked to Jade since the Platinum Music Award's, which were over a month ago. She did notice that Jade had changed in a way. She wasn't as mean to Tori as before. In fact, she seemed rather nice. She wouldn't deadpan anything Tori had done and even helped her with a few ideas about a project Tori had been working on for a while now. "What are you doing here?" Tori asked. It was a dumb question, and Tori knew that. Still, Jade was the last person she expected to see.

"Dumb question. I came to see how you are." Jade coldly said, inviting herself to enter the house. She walked upstairs towards Tori's room. Tori was right behind her. She watched Jade sit down on her bed as she dropped her GoW bag to the floor. Jade sighed as she looked back at her sick friend, who was leaning on the now closed door.

"How are you?" Jade asked softly. The caring in the voice took Tori by surprise.

"I'm fine." Tori said after a few moments, a fake smile spread on her face. "You don't have to worry. I'm…"

"Don't give me that crap, Vega." Jade cut her of. Still, Jade didn't yell. Her voice wasn't its usual cold self. "I'm not interested in the lies you tell the others so that they don't worry. I want to know how you actually feel." Jade explained, looking at her with a concerned expression. Tori stood there, frozen for a moment, not expecting such a behavior from the Goth. She didn't know where this came from.

"Why do you think that I'm lying?" Tori asked her, her voice weaker and smaller than she actually wanted it to be. Jade only sighed and patted the place next to her, signaling Tori to sit down. After a moment of hesitation, Tori did so. Jade shifted slightly so she was now facing the half Latina.

"Because, I know you; you would rather lie your ass off than worry anyone even a bit more. Tori, this one time it's not you who has to protect the others." Jade said softly. Tori sat there in silence, fighting back the tears that were slowly forming in her eyes. Jade took Tori's hand and gave it a light squeeze.

"You can tell me." Jade said softly, still holding Tori's hand. At that statement, Tori turned around to look at her. She saw that Jade meant it. She heard the honesty in her voice; saw the sincerity in Jade's eyes. Tori couldn't keep it together anymore. She felt the hot tears run down her cheeks. A few moment's later, she allowed herself to cry openly again. She knew Jade was right. She did need help. She needed every help she could find. She then felt herself being pulled into a hug by the girl sitting next to her, something which made her tear up even more. Jade's change of behavior made her realize even more that all this was real. Tori allowed herself to cry on Jade's shoulder. Jade simply held her, sitting there for some time until Tori calmed down a bit.

"How do you feel?" Jade asked when she felt Tori's breathing become more even.

"I…I'm scared. I'm scared that the surgery won't do it. I'm scared that I might need chemo. I'm scared that even that won't help. I don't want to die, Jade." Tori said before she broke down again. She felt Jade tighten the grip around her. It did calm her down a bit. The music was still playing in the background, creating a soothing atmosphere for Tori.

"It's okay to be scared, Tori. Everyone would be. I won't tell you that everything is going to be fine. I can't tell you that, because I don't know if it is. But I can tell you what you can do. Fight. Fight it with everything you got. And always keep in mind that everyone is there for you: Cat, Andre, Beck, Robbie and I are there if you need us. But stop hiding how you feel. Stop hiding your pain, Tori." Jade softly said as she pulled Tori back a bit so she could face her. Tori was shocked to see Jade crying herself. "Promise me that you will fight it with everything you got. Promise me that you will make it out of this alive." Jade said, looking Tori straight into the eyes.

"I… I don't know if I can." Tori stuttered, looking away. She heard Jade sigh. "What if it isn't enough? What if I fight it with everything I got and still loose… What if I die?" Tori asked, looking back at Jade.

"Then we will at least know you tried. I can't tell how the others feel, but you would hurt me the most if you gave up immediately." Jade said, her arms still on Tori's shoulders. They sat in silence again. Jade saw that Tori was thinking. Jade always thought that life had it's ways of giving a helping hand to people in doubt, and this time it came with a song that began playing. Tori felt serenity overtake her as the soundtrack of _The Proposition_ called _The Proposition #1_ began playing. The instrumental consisting of Cave playing the piano and Ellis the violin did something to Tori. It was one of those moments where a song does more than words ever could. Three minutes later, when the song finished, Tori let out a big sigh and turned back to look at Jade.

"I won't go down without a fight." Tori said, an honest smile appearing on her face. Jade's face lit up, as she pulled Tori in for another tight hug. Tori hugged her back as she rested her head on Jade's shoulder.

"Why are you so nice to me?" Tori asked all of the sudden.

"I have my reasons." Jade said with a smile. "Let's just say, I can't let a friend down that needs me."

"Thank you." Tori said as she hugged Jade tighter, thankful for the talk. She felt better. A lot better.

"What did the doctor say?" Jade asked. Tori explained everything the doctor had said. Jade then told Tori about Mariah, Ms. Oliver's cousin. Tori understood why Jade wanted didn't want her to give up. Mariah did, and she wasn't with us anymore.

"So the surgery is next week?"

"Yes… I hope it will be enough." Tori honestly said.

"I hope so. Don't worry. You are not alone."

"Thank you. Can I ask you for a favor?"

"Sure, anything."

"Can you sleep over tonight? I…"

"Sure I can." Jade answered immediately, not wanting Tori to have to think for a nice sounding reason. Tori gave her one of her pajamas as they both lied down. Jade felt Tori place an arm around Jade's waist and snuggle closer, leaning into Jade's back. She didn't mind. Especially if it made Tori feel better.


	5. Surgery

If it was possible to walk a hole into the ground, the hospital would be full of them right now. Tori had been in surgery for over seven hours now. Her parents were there. Trina was there. Jade, Cat, Beck, Andre and Robbie were there. Holy was in David's arms, trying to control her tears. Trina was sitting next to Robbie, who tried to keep her calm and collected. Beck and Andre leaned on opposite walls, both staring at the light to die out so they know that the surgery is done. Cat was sitting on a chair, playing with the end of her dress while Jade had left for a moment to get everyone something to drink.

"This is taking too damn long." Andre cursed as he began to walk up and down the corridor again. Seven hours without a nurse or anyone updating them on Tori's condition. As far as he knew, Tori could already be lost.

"Such a surgery takes around eight hours, Andre." Beck told him, hoping he would finally calm down.

"I hope Tori will make it." Robbie said.

"Of course she will! She must!" Holly yelled at him. He raised his hands in defense.

"Holly, calm down." David told her, giving Robbie an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry." Robbie said, looking down on his hands. He didn't know how to deal with such a situation at all. The young, weird boy was under too much stress to even think clear. He decided that for now it would be the wisest to simply stay silent. He felt Trina place her hand on his knee and squeezing it gently.

"Don't be, you didn't mean anything bad." Trina told him, wiping the tears that would escape every now and then.

Jade came back with a bag full of bottles in one hand, while carrying a giant coffee cup in the other. She sat down next to Cat and gave her a bottle of water.

"Are you okay?" She asked her best friend. Cat sighed and shook her head. Jade took her hand. "Come on, let's go outside, and get some fresh air." Jade told her as she got up. Cat silently did the same and followed her outside.

"Wait for me." Beck said as he went after them. Spending the past seven hours in a small corridor under those circumstances drained both his energy and sanity. Some fresh air would help him too.

"Kitty, what's wrong?" Jade asked Cat once they got outside.

"I have a bad feeling, that's all." Cat simply said as she felt hot tears form in her eyes. Jade cupped her cheeks with her hands and gently wiped the tears away with her thumbs.

"Have faith in Tori and the doctors. She will make it." Jade told her, hoping it would calm her down. She only had that. Faith. She wasn't religious. She wasn't interested in such things. Everyone could believe in what they wanted, she didn't care. But now, she found herself saying a little prayer in her mind, just in case.

"What if she doesn't?" Cat asked, looking up at Jade. Jade let out a heavy sight. She remembered the grieving Beck did about Mariah. She was a bit older than him, being a month away from getting her masters in English. The Oliver's didn't take the loss well. Beck hadn't been the same either. She hoped that the Vega's wouldn't have to go through the same; hoped that her friends wouldn't have to deal with such a loss. She knew she wouldn't be able to.

"Let's just hope for the best, okay?" Jade said as she placed her hands on Cat's shoulders. Cat closed the distance between them as she hugged the Goth around the waist. Jade hugged her back with one hand while she gently stroked Cat's hair with the other. She saw Beck approaching them slowly. She gave him a nod, signaling him that it's okay.

They stood there in silence for a short time. Beck didn't say anything, as he spaced out in his own thoughts. All this was a giant déjà vu for him. He only hoped that this time, the ending would be different. He wasn't sure if he could loose another important person in his life. First he lost Mariah, who was like a big sister to him; then Jade, the love of his life. If he would loose Tori too, he knew that he could give himself the bullet right away. Everybody has a breaking point, and the last year already went beyond his.

Jade was still holding a crying Cat in her arms, knowing that she had to stay calm. Tori promised her that she wouldn't give up. She promised her that she would live. And Jade knew that Tori always kept her word. Tori had always been there for her. After everything Jade had done for her in the past, Tori had always considered her a friend. She even blew Beck off because she valued their friendship over a relationship with him. The least Jade could do was help Tori now as much as humanly possible.

The silence was interrupted by Beck's phone ringing. It took him by surprise as it snapped him out of his thoughts. He read the message, a wide smile appearing on his face.

"The doctor just came out. Tori's fine. She's in stable condition now." Beck read out loud with excitement. Jade's face lit up, while at the same time Cat spun around, a wide smile appearing on her with tears covered face. They rushed into the hospital, Beck pushing the button that summons the elevator a thousand times, his patience having been drained in the past hours.

When they finally got to the floor they wanted, they saw the others stand in front of a window. As they approached they saw that everyone was looking at Tori sleeping in her room. Tori had been attached to a few machines, simply to be sure. Just as Beck wanted to ask, Mr. Vega spoke up.

"The surgery went with almost no real complications. She is stable, but we can't see her until tomorrow. Dr. Samuels said that she needed to rest as much as possible." David explained.

"And the tumor?" Cat asked.

"They will check her again once she recovers from surgery. Right now, they removed the tumor, but they will only know for sure once they run the checks again."

Everyone let out a sigh of relief. Tori was fine for now. Now they could only hope that the surgery was enough. Chemotherapy would be a completely different issue if it became necessary.

"When can she come home?" Trina asked, feeling bad because she couldn't talk to Tori now. She only wanted to hear her voice again; to hear that she was fine. And she wasn't the only one.

"Two to three weeks. Come on, let's go home and rest. We can all come back whenever we want tomorrow." David said as he led his wife and daughter outside. The others stood there, still looking at their sleeping friend.

"I hope that that's it." Robbie said.

"We all do." Andre told him as he patted his back.

"Ditch school tomorrow morning and come here?" Jade asked. Everyone turned around to look at her.

"I'm in." Cat said, looking back at the window. The others agreed too. School wasn't important now. They could miss a day. They knew that everyone would understand.

"Told you she would be fine." Jade whispered into Cat's ear, making her chuckle.

"Can I stay over at your place? It's closer to the hospital." Cat asked her.

"Of course. We'll go to the hospital first thing in the morning." Jade told her.

After a few more minutes, they everyone left. Tori slept peacefully the whole night, the nurses checking her condition on a regular basis.


	6. What did I do?

Andre walked into the hospital the next morning, holding a giant giraffe doll in his hand. Ironically, that was the one Keenan Thompson had given him when he held a "small" party at his new house. He hoped that Tori was awake by now. He didn't sleep the whole night, as he couldn't get his mind of the girl he was in love with for so long. The day she told him that she was sick, his world fell apart. He felt that life had punched him harder that anything that had happened to him in the past. He barely slept a hour a day since he found her near his house; since she told him. This whole time, the idea of her dying wouldn't leave his head. It wouldn't give him peace. He couldn't ignore it; couldn't rationally put it away as something stupid. He couldn't because it wasn't irrational. It wasn't dumb. It was something very real. It was something nobody could prevent under the worst circumstances. He knew that the others felt bad themselves, but none of them for the reasons he did. He never told anyone about the crush he had for Tori. He assumed that some people figured it out, but nobody ever called him out on that. He never tried to make a move on Tori. There had been many reasons for that. He never seemed to find the right moment. He tried to date other girls in the meantime. It didn't work out. He tried to tell himself that it would go away. That it would only ruin their friendship. But no matter what he had tried, he couldn't forget it. It didn't go away. Then he began telling himself that he would make his move when the time is right. That he had a lot of time to ask her out; to tell her how he had felt about her for so long. But now, he knew that he didn't. He didn't know when her time would be up, and it would kill him too if she passed away without finding out about his feelings.

Now he hoped that it would be better. He wanted to support her as much as possible on her road to recovery. He wanted to give her enough strength to pull through this for good. He wanted her to live a long, happy life, and he wanted her to spend that life with him. He wanted to have a big family with the girl who was in the hospital, waiting to heal from a long surgery.

Then it occurred to him. What if it wasn't over? What if the surgery didn't fix the problem, but only delayed it a bit? He had read so much about different types of cancer and the treatments, paying especially close attention to the treatment of cervical cancer. He read about the chemotherapy that would follow. The last few days, he prayed to any god that would listen. He prayed that they don't do this to her. That they throw every punch life wanted to throw at her at him instead. He didn't want her to suffer more. He knew he could take it, and he would in a heartbeat if he was given a chance.

He got out of the elevator and walked towards Tori's room. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw someone walk out of her room. It wasn't a nurse, or a doctor. It was Tori's and Cat's ex-boyfriend, Danny.

"What's he doing here?" Andre thought to himself. He felt jealousy slowly rising in his stomach. Daniel began walking towards the elevator when he noticed Andre.

"Hey, how are you doing?" Danny said as he offered his hand for a handshake. He pulled it back after a few moments of Andre not answering the offer.

"What are you doing here?" Andre asked, his voice filled with anger.

"I… I came to see how Tori was. I heard about it and wanted to see her." He honestly said. He didn't understand why Andre was seemed so angry. The last time he saw him was at the party in Hollywood Arts where he had kissed Tori.

"Alright. Bye." Andre said as he rushed past him. Danny looked at him confused. He sighed. Maybe it was because he had disappointed Cat when he kissed Tori. He knew that Cat and Andre were close friends, but that was so long ago. Danny shrugged as he entered the elevator and pressed the button to the bottom floor.

Andre stood in front of Tori's room for a moment. He didn't know why he reacted the way he did when he saw Danny. Was it jealousy? Was it the fact that the first thing that came to his mind when he saw him was how he and Tori were once a couple? Was it the idea that Danny would try to get her back now? Or was it all of it. Andre sighed, took one deep breath and gently knocked on the door. He then opened it to see Tori lying in her bed and watching some sitcom on the TV. He calmed down once he saw he smile while looking at the TV. She turned around to see him standing by the door.

"Hey." He greeted her as he walked towards her and planted a soft kiss on her forehead before giving her the stuffed animal.

"Ooh, is that for me?" She said as she slowly pulled herself up a bit so that she could sit. He helped her and positioned the pillow so that now she was sitting more comfortable. "Is that Keenan's?" She asked as she looked at the toy and then back at Andre.

"Yeah, I know you liked it when you saw it the first time. When I found it the other day, I decided that you should have it." He told her as he sat down on the chair next to her bed.

"That's so sweet. Thank you." She said before she tried to move to give him a hug, but she stopped mid way when felt a sharp pain in her midsection. Andre placed his hands on her shoulder and laid her back on the pillow.

"Slow down there, you just had surgery." He told her.

"I'm sorry." She said before stretching her hands towards him, gesturing that she wanted a hug. He smiled as he leaned in and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"How do you feel?" Andre asked her as he sat back down on his chair.

"A bit tired, but I'm okay now. I'm simply glad that the surgery went well. I can't wait to get home though, it's rather boring lying here the whole time." She explained.

"And when are they going to let you out?"

"In two weeks I can go home. But I don't know when I can go back to school or anything. I hope I won't have to fail this year, I want to stay with you guys." Tori sadly said as she hugged the stuffed giraffe. Andre felt his heart wrench as he saw her expression change to sadness.

"You won't. I'll make sure you stay up to date with what we are doing. But you getting better is the priority now, so don't do anything the doctor told you not to." Andre told her. A small, but genuine smile formed on her lips as she turned back to face him. Her smile made him feel better. He loved her smile. He always thought that it could light up a room. To see her smile, that was the only thing he wanted. He wanted her to be happy, and right now, he was glad that he made her smile, even a little bit.

"Thank you." She told him.

"What for?"

"For everything: for finding me that day and talking to me, for listening to me, for telling the others when I didn't have the strength to. I don't know what I would do without you." She honestly told him.

"_I don't know what I would do without you._" He thought, wanting to say those words to her, but decided against it the next moment. It was not the right time. He didn't want to take advantage of her situation, or at least he thought that it would look that way.

"Anything for you." He told her with a smile. He meant it, in every aspect you can understand the utterance.

"I'm so glad I have you guys. I couldn't believe that even Danny came to see me."

The mentioning of Danny killed the mood for Andre immediately. The jealousy he felt when he saw him before came right back, this time even more when she mentioned it.

"I saw him. What did he say?" Andre asked, his tone changing to a serious one. His expression became empty.

"He said that he found out I was in the hospital and simply wanted to see how I was. It's so nice of him. I mean, I haven't seen him since the day I sprayed cheese on him and Cat, but we never left on bad terms. I'm glad he remembered." She said before turning back to Andre. She immediately noticed the change in his expression. He was glaring into empty space, and the glare was something she had not seen on him ever before. "Is everything okay?" She asked, her voice filled with worry. "Did I say something?"

"Nope, everything's alright. I have to go." He said before getting up and walking towards the door.

"Wait, what did I do?" She begged, trying to get up again. Once again, a sharp pain stopped her immediately. She heard him sigh heavily.

"It's nothing. I have to go now. I'll see you later." Andre said without looking back at her. He went outside and closed the door. She sat in her bed, not understanding what just had happened. One moment, everything was great, the next one he looked as if someone had shot his dog.

"What did just happen?" She said to herself.

The moment Andre closed the door, he felt like the biggest piece of shit in this world. Why did he do this? Why did he just do this? He didn't know. He simply couldn't sit there anymore. He would have said something stupid. Walked outside of the hospital and got in his car. He ran his hands through his hair, trying to calm down. But there was no use. He wanted to go back. He wanted to apologize, to stay with her. But he didn't. He already did the damage.

"You stupid idiot!" he said as he punched the steering wheel with all strength. He leaned back against his seat, feeling the tears run down his face. This had to be the worst day of his life. He started his car and drove off, anywhere where he could think.


	7. The truth

"And he just left without giving you a reason? " Tori nodded, burying her face in her hands again, crying openly. Beck couldn't believe what she just told him. He couldn't believe that Andre could act that way, especially now.

"I must have done something." She said as raised her head and took the stuffed animal Andre had given her. She hugged it for dear life, crying into it. She felt awful. "I can't do anything right. I screw up all the time." Tori said through her sobs. Beck ran his hands through his hair, feeling anger take over. He was very hard to piss off, but Andre might just have done it now. Had Andre been anywhere close, Beck would have punched him without a moment of hesitation. He let out a big sigh as he tried to calm down. Tori didn't need another irrational friend now.

"You didn't do anything. He is simply under a lot of stress, you know. He took your sickness pretty badly." Beck tried to explain, but he soon realized his mistake.

"I… I don't know." Tori honestly said, calming slowly down. She was worried about him. She saw something in his eyes she had never seen before. Beck got up and placed a small kiss on her head.

"I'm going to talk to him. Don't worry, you didn't do anything bad." Beck reassured her again. She pulled him into a tight hug.

"Thank you. Please, tell him I'm sorry." She said, reigniting the anger in him. He walked out of Tori's room and into the elevator. He felt like breaking something. Right now, Andre's nose seemed a good option. As he walked out of the hospital, something caught the corner of his eye.

"Hi Beck!" Cat cheerily greeted with Jade walking right next to her. She immediately realized that something was wrong. His expression was not the usual, stoic self. No, he was angry.

"Cat, go to Tori, I'll be there in a minute." Jade told her.

"Kay kay." Cat said as she walked into the hospital, leaving the ex-couple by themselves.

"What?" Beck asked, sounding harsher than he intended to.

"What's wrong?" Jade asked in a concerned voice. She saw his expression change from anger to frustration. He paced around, running a hand through his long hair again, trying to calm down.

"Andre made Tori cry." He simply said. Jade's eyes grew wider when she heard him.

"Andre did what? When? How?" Jade began rambling, but Beck cut her off.

"When I came here half an hour earlier to see her, she was crying. I thought that the results were bad, but she told me how Andre visited her. Everything was fine until he got up and left without a reason. She said she never saw him this angry before." Beck explained, wanting to scream out of frustration. "How can he be like this now? How can he act this way towards her when she is in a goddamn hospital recovering from a dangerous surgery? What the fuck is wrong with him?" Beck yelled, not caring about the people staring.

"Where is he now?" Jade asked after a few moments. She got angry herself. Beck was right. His behavior was unjustified, especially in this situation. She already has enough to worry about, and now he adds fuel to the wildfire.

"I don't know. I'm going to search for him."

"I'm coming with you."

"No. You go upstairs and calm Tori down." Beck told her.

"What? I want to…"

"Jade please, she is still shaken up and needs you. Let me take care of this. You go and help her to calm down." Beck begged her. She let out a loud growl.

"Okay. But when you see him, punch him once for me." Jade told him.

"Don't give me any ideas." Beck told her before walking towards his car. He drove off, having a few places in mind where he could search.

In the meantime, Cat had gotten to Tori's room. When she saw Tori cry, she ran towards the bed, sat down next to Tori and wrapped her arms around her. When Tori noticed that it was Cat, she calmed down a bit, not wanting to upset someone else today.

"What happened?" Cat asked her as she rubbed Tori's back gently. Tori told her about what happened with Andre. Cat sat in silence for a while, thinking about the situation before it hit her. But she wasn't sure if she should tell Tori.

"He probably forgot he had to do something important and remembered it then." Cat said, trying to cover up the fact that Andre must have been jealous about Danny. Cat had assumed that Andre had a crush on Tori for a long time now, but she didn't put a lot of thought into in until now.

"I… I don't know. Maybe you are right." Tori said as she leaned on Cat, happy to have someone close who would calm her down and not get angry right away. Then, Jade walked into the room.

"Hi." Jade said as she tried to calm down as much as possible. When she saw Cat holding a red eyed Tori, Jade finally did. She sat down on the other side of the bed and placed a hand on Tori's shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

"It's going to be okay. Don't worry about it. Here, Cat and I went to your place and picked up your laptop." Jade said as she took out the bag. "Now you can do something else but lie here and watch crappy TV series. Trina said that she and your parents will come here in the afternoon. Your dad has to work." Jade told her as she plugged the laptop in and placed it on a desk next to Tori's bed. She clicked on one of the icons which opened Tori's play list. Jade let one of the calming songs play as she watched Tori's expression change into calmness. Tori closed her eyes as she took Jade's hand and looked and her and then at Cat.

"Thank you for being here." Tori said honestly.

Beck drove towards the last of the places he assumed Andre would be. When he arrived at the beach, he got out of his car and began walking towards the spot they had spent a lot of time together as a group. After walking a minute, he spotted Andre's car in one of the spaces. Beck quickened his steps as he couldn't wait to find out what the hell was wrong with his best friend.

After ten minutes of walking, he finally arrived at the place. He was relieved that he found Andre sitting there by himself, looking at the ocean.

"What the fuck is wrong with you." Beck yelled as he approached the surprised Andre. It took him all the self control he had not to punch him right there.

"What are you talking about?" Andre asked him.

"What I'm talking about? I'm talking about Tori crying in the hospital because you got angry for no damn reason and took off without even telling her what's wrong! What is the matter with you? Why are you doing something like that while she is sick?" Beck yelled at him.

"I… I don't know. I simply got mad because…" Andre stopped himself before he could finish.

"Because what? What Andre? Tell me!"

"Before I came to her room I saw Danny leave. When I saw him, I got the idea of him taking advantage of the situation and them getting back together again. And then when she mentioned him again, I simply snapped." Andre explained, yelling back at his best friend.

"That's the reason?"

"Yeah."

"Why does that make you mad?"

"Because I love her!" Andre finally shouted out. Beck stood there, frozen. After a moment, he cursed at himself for being blind the whole time. It made sense now. His reaction made sense now.

"How long?" Beck finally asked; his voice now calm.

"How long what?"

"How long have you been in love with her?"

"Since I met her the first time." Andre admitted, looking away.

"Why didn't you tell anyone? Why are you ashamed about it?"

"I'm not ashamed. I was simply scared that it could ruin our friendship. For her, I'm just best friend Andre."

Silence filled the air for a while, with both men taking in what the other had said.

"I know I fucked up. I felt like the biggest piece of shit the moment I left the hospital room. Do you really think I want her to cry and be sad? Especially now?" Andre asked, looking back at Beck.

"No… I know you don't." Beck said. "You have to tell her."

"No! I can't. Not now!"

"Why?"

"The last thing she needs right now is the pressure of me asking her out. I can't do this. Not now." Andre explained. "Promise me that you won't tell her!"

Beck stood there for a moment, thinking about the situation. As much as he hated it, Andre is right. Now is not the time.

"Alright. I promise. But you better come up with a good reason why you stormed off. And you better avoid Jade for a while She wasn't happy when she found out either."

"I'll think of something. Thanks for the talk."  
"Don't thank me. Just make this right again. She doesn't need to feel guilty about something she didn't do." Beck told him before turning around and leaving.

Andre sat back down on the sand, watching the ocean. He wished he could tell her. He would have immediately. But now, he has to be there for her.

"No more behavior like this." Andre told himself before getting up and walking back to his car. He needed to see Tori as soon as possible. He needed to apologize.


	8. Aftermath

„Is there anything else you need, sweetheart? " Holly asked her daughter. Tori only shook her head.

"Nope. Jade already brought me my laptop, I got a TV in here and Cat promised me to bring me my homework, so I'm fine for now." She explained.

"If you need anything…" David said, but didn't come far.

"If I need anything, I'll call you as soon as I can, I promise." Tori told him with a smile.

"I'll come back tomorrow after school." Trina said before planting a gentle kiss on her baby sister's cheek. David and Holly did the same before they left the hospital after a long stay. Tori placed the laptop in her lap and played some music while searching for something on the internet. She still didn't understand what had happened in the morning with Andre. His mood change was something she had never experienced with him, and they hung out a lot. Maybe Cat was right. The possibility of him forgetting about something important is rather high, especially after the past week. She knew that he didn't sleep much. He always seemed tired. The bags under his eyes were even more obvious now.

Tori couldn't do anything but feel guilty for that. After all, this situation is causing everyone immense amounts of stress. Tori was under a lot of it herself, but she wouldn't complain. It was her fault for letting it come to this. She made her bed, and she was ready to sleep in it.

The next hour she spent reading her chat log with Andre. She looked for anything that could explain his behavior. Still, she found nothing that could give her any answers. Beck told her that he hadn't found him, so there was no point asking him.

Tori sighed as she placed her laptop back on the table and leaned back into her pillow. Maybe she was simply overreacting herself about this situation. Everyone has a bad day and mood swings. Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the door open again. She sat up quickly, but immediately regretted it once the wound from the surgery began hurting again. Andre felt even worse than before, seeing the look on her face. Silence filled the hospital room for a while. Neither Tori nor Andre knew what to say.

"Look, I'm sorry about me storming off earlier." Andre apologized, hoping that it would be the end of that topic. Of course, it wasn't.

"Why did you do that? What did I say?" Tori asked, looking at him with her brown eyes that seemed filled with guilt.

"Nothing… You did nothing. It's just…"

"Just what?" Tori asked him as he sat down on the chair. He looked at her, fighting with the idea of simply telling her how he felt. Admitting to her how he had been in love with her since the day he saw her. How he wanted nothing more than be there for her; spend every minute with her to help her get healthy again. How he had tried to date so many other girls trying to get over the fact that he and Tori would only stay friends. But he couldn't tell her that. Not now. Not while she is so weak. He would be taking advantage of her if he did that now. That wasn't what he wanted, although he wasn't sure what he wanted anymore.

"Andre? Just tell me what's wrong. Please, I've been worried sick since this morning." Her voice snapped him out of his inner battle. _Good job Andre. Now you are one of her worries next to so many others. Good. Fucking. Job!_ Andre thought to himself. He felt awful. Next to everything Tori is going through, he gave her even more to worry about simply because he felt jealous. He couldn't tell her. He couldn't, no matter how much he wanted to.

"Look, I had to pick up something important for my grandma, and I forgot it because of everything happening in the past few days. And when I remembered, I simply overreacted. I mean… the past few days took a toll on my nerves, so my temper is really short. I'm sorry I made you worry. I really am. I won't do it again." He apologized after the lie. He hated lying to her, but he did it for her own good. He watched her expression change from worry to sadness.

"No… I'm sorry I put everyone into this situation." She said before a sigh. She looked back up at him.

"I know this is a lot for you. I see that you are tired all the time. Please, don't worry too much about me. I'm sorry I have to be one more worry in your life. I wish I hadn't let it come this far." Tori said before she buried her face into her hands. She began crying, but collected herself a moment later. "Please, please, don't worry about me anymore. I'll be fine. Go get some rest. Lie down a bit. Just… please, I'm worried about you. You've always been so good to me. I can't live with the fact that you are this beaten up because of me. Please." She begged him.

_Oh that's just great Andre. After lying to her straight to the face, she still is worried more about you than about herself. _

"Look, you shouldn't worry about me. I should be the one who thinks straight and rationally. I promise you; again, I won't be like this again. Just get healthy and stop blaming yourself."

"How can I not worry, Andre. After everything you went through because of me…" Tori said before she took Andre's hand and looked him right in the eyes.

"Do you even realize how much you all mean to me? How much you mean to me? It hurts me to know that all this is because I made a mistake. I'll get better and I'll make it up to you. I promise." Tori told him while she held his hand.

"I'm sorry, but you have to leave now. You can come back tomorrow." A nurse interrupted them. _Thank god!_ Andre thought. He didn't know if he could take this anymore. His conscience was killing him. He leaned down and gave Tori a kiss on her forehead before she wrapped her arms around him, whispering one last "I'm sorry" into his ear. He went out of her room and out of the hospital.

After a whole day he finally arrived back home. Sitting down on his sofa, he took his guitar and began playing something. At least he tried to, but to no avail. How could he continue like this? He knew that he would make another grave mistake like this, and he hated that idea. He couldn't make Tori even worse. He left out a load groan, happy that he was alone. But a sudden, loud knock on his front door got his attention. He got up and walked towards the door.

"Hel…" he was cut off by a hot sensation on his cheek which quickly turned into pain. He grasped his jaw before turning back to see who it was. Once he spotted red hair, his question was answered.

"Cat?" Andre said in a shocked manner: shocked that he saw her at this hour in front of his house, and that she slapped the taste out of his mouth without a warning.

"That was for upsetting Tori today and making her cry!" Cat told him in an angry tone before storming into his living room. Andre rubbed his jaw as he walked inside.

"I know I deserve this, but please, let me explain…"

"Explain what? That you got jealous because you saw Danny?" Cat snapped at him. Andre stood there, frozen at what Cat had just told him. "How did she know" was what came to his mind immediately.

"Did Beck tell you?" He asked after a few moments.

"No. Beck didn't tell anyone anything. He even lied to Tori that he didn't find you. I knew that you were in love with her since I saw how you looked at her the first day I met her." Cat explained, leaving Andre speechless again.

"What? How?"

"Oh come on. I saw how you act next to her. I saw how you look at her, how you talked about her. And ever since the day you told us that she had cancer, when I saw you almost loose it when the others left, I knew for sure." Cat told him.

"Okay, you are right. When I saw Danny walk out of her room, I became jealous. And yes, when she mentioned him it overtook me and I stormed out." Andre admitted, feeling ashamed after he had said that. No, you don't do something like this to the person you care about.

"Why didn't you tell her?" Cat asked, her voice becoming calmer.

"I… I didn't want to take advantage of her situation. I mean, she is sick. She feels vulnerable. I don't want to do it that way."

"You had years to ask her out Andre. And she would have said yes." Cat said, making Andre look at her as if she had three heads.

"How do you…"

"Today, the only thing she had been talking about was you, goddamit! I don't know if everyone is blind around me or what is going on, but she cares about you. She would have given a relationship between you two a chance. But no, you had to chicken out. Can't you see the reason why none of you two had a real relationship in the past few years? Because you both knew that it wasn't right. Now, you can get your head out of your ass and make the first move once the right time comes, or you can simply take a cowards way out and later ask yourself what if." Cat told him before getting up and storming out of the house. Andre plumbed down into his sofa. His jaw dropped from the "the reason you suck" speech Cat just gave him. He couldn't believe what he just had heard. He wouldn't have been able to respond to Cat anyway, so he was kind of glad that she had left.

Andre sat there the whole evening, thinking about everything that had happened today. He needed to do something, but he wasn't sure what that something is.


	9. Finally Home

„Are you happy to get out of here? " Trina asked her sister as she took her things and carried them to the elevator.

"You have no idea." Tori told her with a smile. Two more weeks had passed since the surgery and Tori was free to go and rest at home. She was more than happy to get out of there. Lying in one bed for two weeks and barely being able to do anything was more than boring the life out of her. If she didn't have her laptop with her on whom she could work on a few things, she swore she would have busted out. Still, the two weeks weren't only spent in boredom. Her friends and her family visited her almost daily. She began writing a new play for one of her classes and she kept up to date with everything they had done at school. You would be surprised how interesting even physics can be when you can't do anything but lie in bed.

They got in Trina's car and drove out of the parking lot. Trina turned up the radio as they sang to every song that came on. Trina looked over at her baby sister, who looked genuinely happy after a long time. Now only one thing was left, and that were the Tori's results that would be ready in a week. Trina and everyone else hoped, prayed and begged that the surgery was enough. They wanted the nightmare to end for their daughter, sister and friend.

Tori's face lit up once Trina drove into their driveway. Tori slowly got out of the car, still having to take it slow so she wouldn't open the wound. Trina got her luggage and carried it inside. Tori entered her house and walked inside, never been happier to be home again. She saw her mother run over to her and hug her for dear life.

"Welcome home honey." Holly said to her before giving Tori a kiss on the cheek.

"Home, sweet home." Tori simply said before hugging her mother back.

"I've made your favorite dinner." Holly said with a smirk. If Tori didn't have ears, her smile would completely circle around her head. Two weeks of hospital food were an experience she imagined worse than anything she had gone through before. Bad food only made everything else worse, at least to her.

"Oh, yes, please, I'm hungry." Tori said as she walked towards the kitchen as fast as she could, sitting down on the dinner table.

"Yes, please let me carry everything upstairs." Trina deadpanned, but the smirk didn't leave her face. She was simply happy to see her sister happy again.

After Tori finished her meal, she walked upstairs to her room. As she walked in, she took a deep breath. She missed that shelter she had from the world. In there, she could think without so many disturbances from outside. She lied down on the bed, leaving out a quiet moan at the comfort she missed so much. Still, something was missing. She took out her pearphone and scrolled through her play lists, stopping at the one she wanted. After she opened it, she placed her phone next to her on the pillow.

She had spent one whole night looking for songs and pieces of music similar to those that she began listening to. No more pop songs, no more happy go lucky music. In the past few weeks, the only thing she was searching for were pieces of music that could raise true emotions in anyone. Some of them were haunting and stunning, like _The Proposition #1_, then there was Yann Tiersens piano- instrumentals. She especially loved his work from the move _Amelie_. It had such a calming tone to it that it could rip her out of each depression or emotional void she had found herself in more than once.

Her state of mind had really changed in the past two weeks. The fact is, she had a lot of time to think about everything. About what she had done in life, what she still wanted to do, the good things, the bad things etc. She thought about her friends and how they were holding up with everything that had happened. Tori knew they worried. She saw how their behavior changed. Jade became friendlier and showed a lot of empathy with everyone around her. Beck had become more emotional and began showing it more, toning his usual stoic behavior down a bit. Cat was more focused. She wouldn't space out as often as she had before and listened more than she actually spoke, which was something else compared to her usual, talkative self. Robbie, for some reason, had distanced himself from everyone. Tori wasn't sure if something had happened in his life or if everything had simply been to much for him to take on. She wasn't mad at him. She understood. He was simply overwhelmed. Trina told her how Holly had yelled at him while Tori had surgery. He didn't mean any harm, but whatever he seemed to do, people would take it the wrong way. She would talk to him as soon as she could. He was still her friend, and she wouldn't give up on him this easily. Danny had visited her every other day. He simply wanted to see how she was. He also asked her about Cat more than once. Tori knew that he regretted cheating on Cat as much as Tori did kissing him that day. Unfortunately for him, Cat had forgiven her, but she hadn't forgiven him.

Andre was the wildcard in this whole ordeal. He had been acting weirder that anyone else. Tori simply couldn't read him as good as she used to. She was worried about his mood changes. One moment he would be smiling and joking with her, and then the other one he would become almost emotionless. She didn't know why. He wouldn't tell her. Sure, he always said that he was under a lot of stress and everything, but there had to be more. She wished he would simply tell her. They always told each other everything. He was the first one who found out about her sickness. Even if she hadn't run into him that day, she would have told him first anyway. It hurt her that he didn't trust her anymore.

Suddenly, the song that was playing got interrupted by a message. She took her phone and saw that it was 11 pm already. She opened the message and saw that it was Jade.

"_Did you get home finally?_" Tori quickly responded "Yes" before sending the message back. She stared at her phone for a minute before she got another one.

"_Come downstairs pls, I need 2 talk 2 u." _Tori read the message and slowly got up. She took one of her jackets and pulled it on. She walked downstairs and opened the front door, where she found Jade standing.

"Hey, what's up?" Tori asked her before she motioned her Goth friend to come inside.

"Look, I need your advice about something." Jade told her, stopping all of sudden, averting her eyes as if she was thinking what she would say next.

"Alright. Come, follow me." Tori took Jade's hand and led her outside in her garden. She lied down on a blanket that was on the grass and motioned Jade to do so herself. Jade hesitated for a moment, but did so in the end. She lied down and watched the beautiful night sky. It was a clear night. So many stars were shining bright.

"I would always come here to think. Well, as you can guess, I wasn't really able to do so while I was in the hospital." Tori said, trying to break the uncomfortable atmosphere around them.

"Look, there is something I have to tell you." Jade told her all of sudden.

"I'm listening."

"I… I saw how Beck tried to kiss you before the awards." Jade said. Tori quickly sat up, regretting it immediately when she felt the familiar pain in her stomach.

"Are you okay?" Jade quickly asked, sitting up herself.

"Yeah, give me a moment; I'm dumb for always rushing up like this." Tori said. The pain stopped after a few moments. "H…how did you see it?" Tori asked her, looking at the Goth, her eyes filled with concern.

"Cat left the video chat on, and so did you. I saw how Beck tried to kiss you and how you pushed him away because of me. Just… why did you do that?" Jade finally asked the question that had been bugging her for months now.

"The reason I told him. I can't do something like that to a friend." Tori honestly said, lying back down and looking at the sky.

"We weren't friends. I did so many horrible things to you. I even took your spot in the awards."

"You were my friend. And I wasn't a saint myself."

"What are you talking about?"

"Kissing Beck the second day I got the Hollywood Arts, ruining one of your plays because I did my "Prome", not going after you when Beck and you broke up. And there is more." Tori honestly said, leaving the Goth speechless for a moment.

"How can you compare that to the things I did to you?"

"You mean the insults?"

"The insults, sabotaging you because I was jealous when you got the lead roles, getting you into trouble more than once; I could go on myself."

"Jade, do you really think I care about those things?"

"What?"

"You are how you are, and I always respected that about you. You fought for everything you ever had. You earned the spot you have in this world. Nothing was ever given to you, and still, you didn't give up. I wish I was as strong as you are." Tori honestly told her.

"But…"

"Look, you did what you did. I don't care about the bad things. I used to, but now, they don't matter to me at all. There is a big chance that I don't have much time left, and I'm not going to waste what I have left in holding grudges about things that are of no importance."

Jade sat there, looking at the girl she used to hate.

"So after everything I did, you always thought of me as a friend?"

"Not always. Bit since you came to me the first time Beck and you broke up, I did." Tori told her.

"Thank you." Jade told her. She felt a tear slide down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away with her hands, not wanting Tori to see her cry.

"You can cry if you want. I won't tell anyone." Tori told her, finally looking at Jade.

"Did you become so nice to me because you saw how I didn't allow Beck to kiss me?" Tori finally asked Jade.

"Yes." Jade honestly answered. "That was why I let you perform, too. I… you did so many favors for me in the past… I couldn't continue to act towards you like I did. I mean…"

"I understand." Tori told her, realizing how much trouble Jade had with speaking about this.

"I'm sorry. I'm not used to thanking others." Jade apologized.

"I know. You don't have to thank me. That's what friends are for."

"It's not fair…"

"What's not fair?" Tori asked in confusion.

"After everything you've been through, it's you who helps me again. If I was a true friend, I would help you too." Jade said in a sad tone.

"You helped me too. That talk we had the day I found out… It helped me a lot. Give yourself some credit too. You are a great friend for me, no matter what. I'm glad to know that I've at least lived long enough to see us become true friends. "

Jade felt something overwhelm her that moment. She lied down closer to Tori and put her head on Tori's shoulder. Tori, surprised at the Goth's action, hesitated for a moment, before leaning her head on Jade's.

"Thank you for everything." Jade told her.

"Thank you too." Tori said as she closed her eyes again. She was happy, at least for that moment. Even if she wouldn't make it, she and Jade did become true friends, and that made Tori want to fight for her life even more.


	10. Decissions

A week had passed since Tori got home. Everyone was gathered at her house as David was reading the results the hospital had sent them. The expressions on their faces told more than words could. Tori needed chemotherapy to prevent the cancer from spreading even more. David, Holly and Trina were fighting the tears while each one of them read the letter again and again, trying to find anything that would prove them wrong. But it was in useless. Tori watched her family's fight with the tears. She was calm, stoic, and emotionless. She was the last one to take the letter, carefully reading it. She took the information she had needed. The first chemotherapy session would be in a few days, while the others would take place every three weeks.

"I'm sorry honey." Holly said as she hugged her youngest kid. Tori saw the pain her family was in. She knew that they were emotionally and mentally exhausted. She also knew that someone had to stay calm and rational during all this. Tori sighed as she placed the letter back down on the table and walked upstairs into her room. Nobody followed her. They wanted to give her some lone time to let everything sink in.

"She must be devastated." Holly said to her husband and her older daughter.

"She looked calm to me." David said in a more concerned tone.

"How can she stay so calm?" Holly asked, looking at him.

"Somebody has to." Trina said before getting up and walking upstairs. She stopped in front of Tori's room and slowly opened the door. She peeked in to see her baby sister lying on her bed, watching the ceiling and humming some sound.

"How are you?" Trina asked her in a concerned tone. She knew that Tori must be sick of that question by now, but she couldn't find any other words.

"I'm fine. To be honest, I expected this to happen." Tori admitted.

"You… you expected this?" Trina stuttered, not sure if she heard right.

"I had a feeling. It would have been too easy if the surgery had done the job." Tori admitted. She honestly felt that way. This time, she knew that she wouldn't get off the easy way. This time, she had to fight for her life, literally.

"Are you scared of the chemotherapy?"

"No. Not really. I mean, I'm not happy that I have to do all those sessions, but what can I do?" Tori sighed. "What's the use of crying over it if I can't change it now?"

"But… you can't just be so cold about it… I mean…" Trina stuttered, not daring to finish her thought.

"I could die. Yeah, I know. I had a lot of time to think about that." Tori simply said, leaving her sister to stand there with a dropped jaw.

"You won't die, Tori."

"There is a good chance for that."

"Stop it!" Trina finally screamed. Tori turned her head to look at the now crying Trina. Tori sighed as she got up and walked towards her. She put her hands on her older sister's shoulders.

"I know you don't want to hear about this, but that's how things are now. Somebody has to think about all the possibilities, and none of you is doing it right now." Tori simply said before pulling Trina in a hug. Trina wrapped her arms around her sister, tightening the grip as much as she could. Tori didn't say anything. She understood that Trina was scared. Everyone is. But Tori for some reason wasn't. She thought about it for quite a while now. She actually made peace with the idea that she could die in a matter of months. She was scared at first, but after spending so much time thinking about it, she found it to be a lot easier to come to peace with than she actually expected. It wasn't that she didn't love life. It was the opposite. She loved life, her friends, and her family. There was still so much she wanted to do and experience. But she also knew that not every story can have a happy ending.

Trina pulled away after a few minutes. She calmed down and left Tori's room without saying another word. Tori's attitude left her speechless. She didn't understand how of all people it was Tori who seemingly had the least problem with the whole situation.

Tori lied back down on her bed. She knew that she had to tell the others about the news. But she didn't know how to break it to them. While she was stoic and prepared for everything that would happen to her, she wasn't keen of worrying the others even more. She thought about calling everyone or sending them a message that explains the whole ordeal, but she imagined their faces when they see a message from her. She can see the hope in their eyes that everything would be alright now, and she can see that hope dying when they get confronted with the hard truth.

She decided for a rather bold move. She took her phone and logged into her TheSlap account. After a few clicks, she had updated her status.

_Chemo in a few days. _

That was it. Nothing added. Nothing explained. The short, simple and heartbreaking truth. The comments immediately flooded it. She didn't bother reading them now. She swore she could guess each one posted. It would be the usual "I'm so sorry" mixed with the "It's going to be okay" and the seldom, but never disappointing "My prayers go to you". She chuckled at the idea of a divine intervention. Her faith had been shaken up a long time ago with everything that happened around the world. She had decided to trade her faith for hard work and desire. Maybe that was a punishment for that? If so, then she knew a lot of people who had a lot of things coming and a lot who had it even worse than her, no matter the fact that they were very religious.

She heard her phone buzz. She looked at the message. It was from Beck, saying "_Are you okay? I can't believe it…_" She quickly typed her answer.

"I'm fine. Not so surprised myself." After finishing it, she pressed the _send_ button and threw her phone back on her bed. She thought about what chemo would do to her. In the hospital she informed herself about everything. She prepared herself mentally as much as she could. In the few, but strong panic attacks, music would help her. She mentally thanked the musicians who composed such instrumentals and sadder types of songs which really help to calm down and think. She knew that without something like that, she would have gone crazy a long time ago.

That moment, she made a decision. She got off her bed and walked to the bathroom. In there, she took out a pair of scissors Trina and her mother always used. She looked at herself in the mirror one last time, before taking one of her long strands of hair and cutting it off.


	11. Outburst

„Okay, now we will begin the chemotherapy. Stay calm and relax." Dr. Samuels told Tori as he started the machine. Tori slowly felt the chemicals enter her body. It was fine at first. She looked at herself. She was sitting in a big, comfortable chair. The IV's were sticking out of her forearms while cooling packs were on her hands, her feet and the top of her head. The chemicals began working soon. It felt like a bad food poisoning for her. At first it was only annoying, but soon, it began to hurt.

"What are the cooling packs for?" Beck asked. He came with her to offer her moral support and distract her. Also, he was the one who had the most experience with such things, so he knew a lot better how to act, what to do, and most importantly, what not to do.

"The doctor said that they make sure the chemicals don't rot away my fingernails." Tori said as she watched her friend sit a few feet away from her. She knew that he was only there to distract her from what was going on: chemicals in her body destroying a lot, and hopefully the tumor.

"And that one on the head?" Beck asked, pointing towards the big, blue, plastic bag-like thing on Tori's scalp.

"It makes sure my hair will grow again. If I didn't have this, I might stay bald for good." Tori said with a weak smile. Beck let out a little sigh. He remembered a few days ago when he saw Tori for the first time since she let everyone know about her needing chemo. He, Cat and Jade came over to check on Tori. All three of them froze when they saw her opening the door, a piece of cloth wrapped around her head. Tori explained to them why she did it. How her hair would fall off anyway. It was hard not to stare at her. Her long, beautiful, brow hair was gone. Beck didn't think too much about it. It didn't matter to him. But he also understood what it must have meant for Tori. She always made sure she looked good. She always took care of her looks, and her hair was one of her trademarks. Jade was the dark haired one, Cat was the crimson red one, and Tori was the natural, brunette one. That day, she symbolically made the first step towards healing.

"How's Robbie? I haven't seen him since I had surgery. No, even before that." Tori asked, after she noticed Beck spacing out for a few moments.

"Uh... I… can't tell you for sure. I haven't really spoken to him since your surgery." Beck admitted, feeling both hurt and ashamed.

"Why not?"

"He changed. He doesn't talk to us anymore. He's not at lunch with us. He didn't even ask about you." Beck said with a small amount of spite in his voice.

"Oh…" was Tori's only comment. It hurt her to know that he had changed so much. She knew that the situation was hard to deal with. But she didn't expect him to isolate himself from all his friends.

"He probably has his reasons. I mean, the past few months have been a lot for everyone to swallow. Just give him some time. Once you are better, he might get a grip again." Beck told her, although he didn't believe it himself. He was mad at his former friend. He was mad because he felt betrayed. Robbie decided to leave once things got tough, and a true friend wouldn't do that. If Jade could have stepped up and put everything aside for Tori, then why couldn't Robbie do the same? He could have at least asked how she was.

"I understand. I'm not mad. It can't be easy for him. This has really been hard on everyone. I'm sorry you all are going through this because of me." Tori said, looking at Beck.

He felt something in his chest clench. Tori's attitude towards others had always been a mystery to him. Something he could never fully understand. She never held a grudge on anyone. She never stayed mad. She never hesitated to help someone who hurt her in the past. Even now, when she is the one hurting the most of them all, she is still worrying about the others. She still was the one who kept a cool head, who thought about the others before she did about herself. Beck didn't understand. He simply couldn't.

"Why are you doing this?" Beck asked all of the sudden, earning a confused look from Tori. He got up and pushed both his hands through his hair. He began pacing around, the emotions he had stored away for so long overtaking the usually unshakable young man.

"Why am I doing what?" Tori asked, confusion filling her voice and the air around them. Beck leaned on the wall with one hand, the other hand brought up to his eyes, trying to keep the tears from overtaking him.

"How can you forgive such behavior after everything you have done? How can you still keep thinking about us more than you think about yourself? You are fighting a battle, Tori, and still, you manage to fight many of ours too. How? Why?" Beck asked, frustration clearly visible on his face and in his voice.

Tori looked down, biting the inside of her lower lip. The room stayed silent for a moment, only the machine's sound killing the silence.

"I…I'm sorry… I shouldn't…" Beck stuttered, reality hitting him about what he just had done. He felt awful. Why of all moments did he need to have this outburst now? "Tori? I…" His words dried in his mouth when he saw a single tear slide down Tori's cheek. _Oh god, what have I done._ He thought. Did he really make her cry because she cared? _What the fuck is wrong with me?_ He cursed himself for doing this. Guilt overtook him as he looked at his friend. She was looking away, fighting more tears slowly appearing in her eyes.

Beck slowly walked towards her and cupped her cheeks into his hands. He gently wiped the tears away with his thumbs. She slowly turned her head towards him. Her eyes were closed. She didn't want to look at him. She couldn't. No matter what she did, she somehow managed to hurt the people around her. She didn't mind pain, as long as it didn't affect the others.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." Beck said softly, his voice near breaking point itself. "You have always been so good to us. It simply upsets me that people can do such things, and you still forgive them without hesitation. I didn't want to make you cry. Please, Tori. Look at me." Beck begged and apologized. Tori finally opened her eyes. Beck swore he could see all the pain in those chocolate brown eyes. All the pain she had hidden from the world around her. Every bad thing someone had done to her, every insult someone had thrown at her. Every injustice that had been done to her, he swore he could see.

Doctor Sammuels walked inside. He curiously looked at the two, noticing the tears and expressions on their faces.  
"Your first session is over, Victoria. The next one will be in three weeks. Are you her boyfriend?" He turned to face Beck, who had gotten up and moved away a bit so the doctor could take the IV's out. Tori slowly got up, feeling sick and tired, but physically and mentally at this point.

"No. I'm her friend though." Beck said, looking at the doctor after he had picked up Tori's jacket and purse.

"Make sure she gets enough rest and eats enough. She will feel sick and won't want to eat, but she has to. Her body needs all the energy. Tell that to everyone." Dr. Sammuels told him before leaving again. Beck stood there as Tori wrapped the dark purple bandana around her head. He handed her the jacket and slowly walked her to his car. He helped her inside and got in the drivers seat. After around twenty minutes, they finally arrived in front of Tori's house. Beck got out of the car and ran over to Tori's side, opening the door for her and helping his fatigued friend out. He slowly walked her towards the door before she stopped right in front of it.

"Thank you for being there with me. It helped." Tori told him, looking her taller friend in the eyes.

"I'm sorry I upset you. It's just…"

"I understand. And you didn't upset me. You are right about everything. But… that's just who I am. I care about all of you and I always will, no matter what the situation is. You all mean the world to me, so please, understand." She said before wrapping her arms around his chest. He gently hugged her back and kissed the material on her forehead.

"Alright. I understand. Thank you for everything. And call me if you need something. No matter when" He said before hugging her back one more time. He opened the door for her and watched her walk inside. She closed the door behind her. Beck walked back towards his car and got inside. He didn't drive home though. He decided that he needed to talk to someone. He needed to make sure that no one else hurts Tori anymore.


	12. True friend

Tori lied down on her bed, her energy completely drained by the chemotherapy. She expected it to be this way, but there was no way she could prepare for this. She closed her eyes, trying to subdue the headache that had slowly risen. It didn't help. Even with her eyes closed, she felt the pressure inside her head. Her eyes seemed to be ready to pop out every second. She opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling. She felt as if the whole room was spinning out of the sudden. She tried to remember the consequences of the chemo. Fatigue? Check. Headache? Check. Dizziness? Check. Nausea?

Just as she remembered the last one, her stomach decided to tell her himself. She put a hand on her mouth and tried to run towards the toiled, but she was too weak. She moved her hand and let her stomach empty itself on the floor. After she threw up at least three times, she collapsed back on the bed, feeling the headache grow weaker by the moment. Then footsteps were heard, getting louder every moment. Tori turned her head to see a shocked Trina standing by her door.

"Tori? What happened?" The older Vega asked, trying to walk towards her sister's bed without stepping into the vomit.

"I came back from therapy a few minutes ago. I didn't make it to the toilet. Sorry. I'll clean it up." Tori weakly said, trying to get up before she felt strong hands push her back down.

"I'll take care of it. You rest. You look awful." Trina told her while gently holding her hand on her sister's head. She still had to get used to bald Tori, but she wouldn't mention it. Nobody did. A shocked expression the first time she saw it? Yes, everyone had that. Talking about it or anything? No way.

"You don't have to…"

"Geez, sis. Can't you let someone else do the work for once? Get some sleep or watch TV." Trina told her while she reached for the remote and placed it in Tori's hand. She placed a gentle kiss on her cheek before leaving the room to get everything necessary to clean the mess.

Tori turned the TV on, but could barely see what was on. She was too exhausted to focus. Gently closing her eyes, she turned so she was lying on her side while she heard Trina walk in and place some things on the floor, probably a bucket or something similar. The sound of rubbing slowly faded as she fell asleep.

In the meantime, Beck was still driving through the city, cursing like a sailor at the horrible traffic. He finally arrived at his destination half an hour later. He got out of his car and walked towards the door. After he knocked, a man who was in mid forties opened the door.

"Oh, hello Beck. Robbie is upstairs. Do you want me to call him?" Mr. Shapiro asked.

"Thanks, but you don't have to. I'll go upstairs. I need to talk to him." Beck simply said. Mr. Shapiro nodded and stepped aside for Beck to come in. Beck walked upstairs and stood in front of his friend's room. He took a deep breath and told himself to stay calm. He knocked on the door twice.

"It's open." He heard him yell before he opened the door. Robbie, who was sitting in front of his computer, turned and a surprised expression appeared on his face when he spotted who was standing by the door.

"Beck! What a surprise. What's up?" he asked him cheerfully, but once he saw the grim expression on Beck's face, he knew that something was up.

"What is wrong with you?" Beck asked him, shaking his head.

"What?" Robbie asked back in a confused tone.

"Tori has been in the hospital for two weeks, and you haven't visited her. You haven't sent her a message to ask how she is. You haven't even cared enough to ask any of us about her. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Beck asked again, the intensity in his voice rising by every word. The room stayed silent, Beck waiting for an answer while Rob looked down, not daring to look at his friend.

"Why do you care?" He asked all of the sudden, still avoiding eye contact.

"Why I care?" Beck repeated with a laugh in the end. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Right now he wanted to punch the glasses of Rob's face, but decided to keep his cool. He wasn't worth the trouble. "I care because she is your friend, or at least she still sees you as her friend. I care because once things went south, you chickened out!" Beck yelled the last part out. Rob walked towards his bed and picked Rex up. Beck felt the anger rise in his stomach. _You better be careful with the words you choose to put into the puppets mouth_ Beck thought.

"I just didn't find the time." Robbie said in a neutral tone.  
"You didn't find the time? Excuse me, but what exactly have you been doing? You didn't hang out with anyone of us at least. What was so important that you couldn't even ask about Tori one damn time, Rob?"

"Cool down, Beck. Why are you chizzing out like this?" Robbie said through Rex. Beck gave that puppet a dead-glare. Jade would be proud of him now.

"I don't know what happened to you. I would understand if you acted this way if Jade was the one who is sick. I know how she always threats you. I wouldn't say a word in that situation, no matter how wrong that is. But with Tori? After everything she has done for you?"

"What has she done for me?" Robbie spat all of the sudden. "What has she done for me? I was there for the surgery! I tried to help out, but all everyone did was scream at me! I wanted to help, but what could I do? Tell me Beck, what could I possibly do to help?"

Beck stood there, looking at his friend in disbelief.

"So the only reason you are acting like this, is because you feel helpless?" Beck asked him.

"Yes. I can't do anything, so why bother?"

"You think me and the others can do something? Do you think we don't feel helpless ourselves? I just sat with Tori while she had chemotherapy. It was her first session, and I wanted to be the moral support. Her father had to work because someone needs to pay the hospital bills. Trina and her mother couldn't go with her because they knew that they would break down themselves once they saw Tori in pain, so I volunteered. I wanted to be the good one, the strong one. And do you know what I did? I made her cry, because I asked her why the hell she was still thinking about the others before herself, because she defended you, who abandoned her the moment things got though!"

Silence filled the room for a few minutes. Beck was waiting for an answer, but Rob simply stood there, avoiding Beck's glare.

"And about your question, what she had done for you; how about the time she donated blood because you had a toy car stuck up your ass? How about the time she convinced a whole hospital to act as if Rex had survived, because you still can't live without that stupid puppet? How about when she saved our asses in the restaurant because you ordered a whole bowl of caviar? She even forgave you for that stupid Robarazzi thing you had going. Do you need anything more? I could go on."

"Are you done?" Robbie simply said. Beck shook his head in disbelief.

"You really are a piece of work man. Really great. Do you know what the worst part is? After everything, Tori is still going to defend you."

"Why are you letting him talk to you like this Rob?" Rex asked. Beck snapped the puppet out of Robbie's hand and smashed in on the ground, breaking him into pieces.

"Rex!" Rob cried out.

"If you have anything to tell me, tell me!" Beck spat, waiting for anything. He wanted to know the reason why one of his best friends has turned into a rat, why he didn't seem to care.

Robbie stood silent, kneeling next to the shattered Rex. He didn't say anything.

"You really are a rat, do you know that?" Beck said before turning around and leaving. He said goodbye to Mr. Shapiro and got into his car. He reversed out of their driveway and sped off. He needed to cool down.

A few hours later, Tori had woken up. She looked around her room to find that the carpet was clean again and that Trina had placed a blanket over her while she was asleep. Tori felt better. The headache was now barely noticeable, but she was still tired. She slowly got up and dragged herself towards the toilet. She splashed some cold water on her face, hoping that it would refresh her. It didn't do much, but she was awake again. After walking back to her room and falling back in her bed, she heard footsteps coming up the stairs again. Thinking it was Trina, she didn't pay much attention.

"Hey, girl." The sound of Andre's voice made her spin quickly. She looked at the door to see him standing there, his arms crossed. She hadn't seen him for a few days, and he hadn't seen her without her hair. She noticed that the bandana had fallen off, so she quickly snatched it and put it on again. He didn't look weirdly at her. He didn't acknowledge the fact that her beautiful, long, brown hair was gone. To him, it didn't matter. She still was the most beautiful girl in the world in his eyes.

"Hey, didn't expect you." Tori weakly said.

"Yeah, sorry about not checking on you earlier, I had to take care of my grandma. I figured you also needed some time for yourself." He honestly said before walking towards the bed and sitting down on the edge of it. "You look tired."

"Oh, I am. I had chemo today."

"I know. Was Beck with you?"

"Yeah, he was. I don't know how I would have made it if he hadn't been there."

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there myself."

"You don't have to apologize. You had more important things to do." Those words stabbed him in the chest. He knew that she meant no malice with them. That those were simply poorly chosen words, but they still hurt. She didn't know that there was nothing more important to him that her.

"I promise I'll be there the next time."

"Thank you. How are you?"

"Me? I'm fine. Why?" Andre asked in a surprised tone.

"I know you are under a lot of stress because of me and everything else." Tori simply said. Andre let out a small chuckle.

"Little miss Tori Vega, always worrying about the others. I'm fine; don't waste your worry on me. You better focus on becoming healthy again. I got a few new songs I want us to sing together."

"Heh, Beck said the exact same thing, about me worrying about the others."

"Really? What did he say about it?"

Tori looked away for a moment, remembering the outburst he had. Andre immediately noticed it.

"He got a bit angry about me caring about others more than myself, especially caring about Robbie, even though I haven't seen him or heard from him since I had surgery." Tori said while a single tear slid down her cheek. Andre gently cupped that cheek in his hand and wiped away the tear, turning her head so she would look at him.

"I don't know what's wrong with Rob, but as soon as I see him, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind."

"No, don't do that. He probably has his reasons."

"Tori, I know you care about him, about all of us. But look at it from our view. In my eyes, he did something nobody does to a person he cares about, and that is abandoning you once things got tough."

Tori was silent for a while, thinking about Andre's words and what Beck had told her before. She knew that they were right, but she still didn't want to believe that one of her closest friends didn't care because things weren't fine anymore.

"At least I got you guys." Tori said all of the sudden, raising her arms and wrapping them around Andre. He leaned down and hugged her close to him.

"Don't worry, I'll always be here for you, and so are Beck, Cat and Jade."

"I know." Tori side while another single tear slid down her cheek.


	13. Old romances

A bright ray of sunlight hit Tori right in the head. She let out a loud yawn before she slowly sat up. She took her phone and checked the time. She had slept for fourteen hours straight and still felt tired. After stretching a bit, she slowly got out of her bed and walked downstairs. She was surprised to find nobody home, but then realized that her parents were at work while Trina was still at school. Her mom wanted to quit her job so she could stay at home every moment, but Tori herself talked her out of it. She knew that the hospital bills were expensive and that they needed all the income they could get.

Tori checked the fridge, looking for anything to eat. She wasn't hungry at all, but remembered what Dr. Samuels had told her and Beck. She needed to eat, hungry or not. She took out the lasagna package and put it in the oven. She set the time and went back upstairs into the bathroom. She looked into the mirror. After a moment she removed her bandana and looked at her image. She had lost weight since the surgery, making her even thinner than she was before.

The most upsetting part for her was the fact that her hair was gone. She cut it off herself because she didn't want to watch it fall out by itself. It would have freaked her out. She hoped that her hair would grow back. All these years of taking care of it were for nothing now. After she opened the mirror, she took out the pills the doctors had prescribed her. It was mostly vitamins and some other things she didn't understand. She swallowed them all at once and let out a long sigh. She hated taking pills. Before, she wouldn't even take an aspirin if she had a headache, and now there were twelve pill bottles only for her. She placed them back, wrapped the bandana back around her head and walked downstairs. The lasagna was done and she sat down on the couch, trying to eat as much as possible while watching some TV.

Tori didn't know how long she sat there, trying to eat as much as possible, when she heard the door open. She turned her head to see Trina walk in.

"Hey." Trina said softly as she dropped her things to the floor and made her way towards her sister. She gave Tori a quick hug before walking towards the fridge to grab something to eat herself.

"I need to go grocery shopping. We don't have anything to eat." Trina stated.

"Here, you can finish mine. I can't take one more bite, or I'll throw up." Tori told her. Trina walked into the living room and sat down next to her baby sister. She looked at the plate, then back at Tori.

"Is this all you could eat? You ate maybe a fifth of it." Trina said in a concerned voice.

"I'm really not hungry. I watched three episodes of this stupid show trying to eat as much as possible, and this is what I managed to do in an hour and half." Tori explained, looking down in defeat.

"I'll put this away so you can eat later if you get hungry."

"Thanks."

Trina took the plate and placed it back in the fridge. She took a bottle of pink lemonade and poured herself and Tori a glass each. She placed them on the table in front of the couch and sat back down.

"Thank you." Tori said, looking at Trina and giving her a weak smile.

"No problem." Trina said while she gently placed her hand on Tori's back and began rubbing it. "You look tired. Did you sleep well?"

"I fell asleep when Andre left and woke up like two hours ago."

"Wow, that's like… fourteen hours."

"Yeah, and I still feel tired. It's because of the chemo. Doctor Samuels warned me."

"Just don't puke again." Trina joked, earning a small chuckle from Tori.

"Don't worry, I won't."

In the meantime, Jade and Cat were sitting at Jade's favorite café, Jade drinking her usual black coffee with two pieces of sugar while Cat enjoyed a piece of strawberry pie.

"I can't believe Robbie said all that." Cat said after a sigh.

"I didn't believe it myself. But it must be true considering how angry Beck was. I've never seen him this angry." Jade explained. She found him walking around with eyes filled with rage. After stopping him and asking what was wrong, Beck told her how he had been at Robbie's place and what had happened.

"I don't know what's gotten into him." Cat sadly said, not believing that one of her best friends could change like this.

"I don't know myself, but I guess some people simply can't handle such situations."

"That still doesn't explain it. It doesn't make sense to me that after everything Tori did for him he would at least ask about her."

"Look, sometimes people do things without reason or even against their reason. Beck is the type of guy who steps up when things go bad. He will be the one to take care of things and make sure that everything is alright or simply do damage control. I asked him why he was like that and he couldn't explain it himself. He simply is like that. I guess Robbie went the other way. Some people can't handle the pressure and rather throw everything away than stick with it while things are hard." Jade explained. She was mad at him herself, but wouldn't bother. Tori's well being was more important to her than Robbie's behavior. She could deal with him once things get better."

"I understand." Cat said, pushing the plate away and looking back up at her best friend. "What about you and Beck?" Cat asked, earning a surprised look by Jade.

"What about us?"

"Will you get back together?"

Jade didn't answer right away. Truth was, she wanted Beck back. She knew that she hadn't been the best girlfriend and that she had taken it too far with the arguing and her jealousy. A lot of time had passed since then and she did change for the better.

"I don't think that it will happen." Jade finally said in a weak tone.

"Why not? Because he tried to kiss Tori?" Cat asked, earning only a silent nod from the Goth.

"What if he simply tried to move on? You did too."

"That's different."

"Oh really?" Cat said in a teasing voice as she leaned back and crossed her arms. Jade's death glare didn't scare her. She knew Jade for too long to be scared of her.

"Don't give me that." Jade spat, angry at Cat for being right.

"You should talk to him." Cat told her in a serious voice.

"It's none of your business."

"You, calling me 5 in the morning on a Friday, drunk and crying because you miss him makes it my business." Cat said in a serious voice. "Look, I am worried enough about Tori as it is right now, I am keeping an eye on Andre because he's been acting weird himself, and I don't want you to snap yourself now. I don't have enough eyes to watch all of you."

"You don't have to keep an eye on me. I'm fine."

"Jade… Are you still trying to hide something from me or lie to me? Really? After seven years you think that you can lie to me? I might space out every now and then, but I'm not that stupid."

"Look, what do you want me to do?" Jade asked in a frustrated voice.

"Go get your boyfriend back!" Cat finally yelled, tired of Jade's denial.

"What if he doesn't want me back?" Jade asked after a long silence.

"I don't think you have to worry about that. I saw the way he looked at you at the Platinum Music Awards. He looked as if he was in love again." Cat told her. Jade sighed, looking down. She thought about what Cat had just told her. She knew what look she was talking about. It was the moment he saw her sit down next to him, when he understood that she had given Tori her spot.

"I'll think about it." She finally said to end the topic. Cat got the cue, and decided not to push it any further.

"Just so you don't say that we only discuss your love life, Daniel asked me out." Cat said, making the Goth choke on her coffee, which earned a giggle from Cat.

"Your ex?" Jade asked after a few coughs.

"Mine and Tori's. I saw him two days ago. He asked me about Tori and then he asked me if I had any plans this Friday." Cat explained.

"And what did you say?" Jade asked, curiously looking at the redhead.

"I told him I would think about it. I still didn't message him tough. What do you think?" Cat asked, her expression becoming serious.

"Well… do you want him back?"

"Honestly, I do. He apologized a million times for what happened that day when he kissed Tori. He's a great guy, but the situation then was simply screwed up. I'm not mad anymore, and since I forgave Tori, I think I can give him another chance." Cat honestly said. She really liked Danny. He had treated her really well while they were together. Yes, he did hurt her when he kissed Tori, but everyone deserves a second chance, at least in her eyes.

"Wow, you really don't hold grudges." Jade said with a smirk.

"Nope, you always do for me tough." Cat said with a small smile.

"Well, if he hurts you again, let me know. I still have to try out the scissors you gave me for Christmas." Jade said with her devilish smile, making Cat's eyes widen in shock.

"I don't think that will be necessary."

"Better hope so. Nobody messes with my Cat." Jade said as she got up and walked towards the waitress, paying for the bill. Cat got up with a big smile on her face, happiness finding her because of Jade's last comment. Such showings of affection were rare with her, making them only more special once they happen.

Once outside, both girls began walking towards Jade's place, where Cat had been hanging out that day after school. They talked about random things, but the conversation ended up on the same topic it did every day, Tori.


	14. Bad news

The days flew by as Tori found herself in her second chemotherapy session. She barely had recovered from the first one, and yet she was sitting in that chair again, cooling packs on her hands, feet and head while the IV's were tucked in her arms. She felt as if the life was getting sucked out of her. Still, she kept a brave face and attitude. She knew that this would be over and that she would be healthy again if she continued her battle. And she wasn't fighting alone.

True to his word, Andre came with her this time. He had been nervous when the doctor connected the IV's to Tori and prepared everything, talking to her the whole time and asking her about how she felt the past weeks. After promising her to update her on the results since the last chemo, he left the room and left Tori and Andre there by themselves.

"You look nervous." Tori stated after some uncomfortable silence.

"Uhm, well, this thing you are sitting in is freaking me out a little."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Looks like one of those chairs where they kill people on television." He said, making Tori chuckle. Beck had told him what he had done the last time, and after yelling at Beck for a few minutes, Andre promised Beck that he would do better himself. He had a simple yet effective plan: be funny and entertain Tori until it's done, or at least keep her mind of the chemicals that are wrecking her body.

"Did I tell you the news?" Andre asked all of sudden.

"What news?" Tori raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, how did I forget this? The studio that has me under contract for quite a while now wants to buy twelve of my songs so they can use them for some of the famous clients." Andre said with a wide smile.

"What? Really? Oh my god!" Tori said, wanting to get up and give him a hug, but saw that it wasn't a good idea when the needles in her arm moved a bit. She sat back after a quick "ouch" and looked at back at Andre.

"You need to realize that you can't walk away while you have needles in your arm as much as you can't sit up quickly after a surgery." Andre said while waving his finger in front of her face, earning a stretched out tongue in return.

"Not nice." He said shaking his head.

"When did you find out?" Tori asked him after a minute. She was excited for him; finally some good news after all this time.

"Two days ago. When Michael called me and told me the news, I nearly passed out. Then I nearly passed out again when he told me what he would pay for them." Andre said.

"That's a lot of passing out." Tori stated.

"Oh trust me, with that money, I can allow myself to pass out everywhere." Andre joked, making Tori laugh again. _Good, keep her laughing. _He told himself. "So how about I invite you to dinner one day? I have to celebrate the news somehow." He asked.

"I would love to, once I am able to eat more than a hundred calories at once."

"No problem, it'll be great for my wallet."

"Hey!" She pouted, replacing it with a smile after a few moments. "What about the others?"

Andre paused for a while. He hoped that it would only be Tori and him. He had planned to take her out to dinner, a nice walk around Hollywood and then tell her about how he felt. He wanted to ask her on a second date, to be his girlfriend. Having the others there, no matter how much he loved them, would screw up his plans.

"Sure, I'll ask them." He said with a fake smile. He will tell them about it and if Tori asks, they can simply say that they didn't have time.

"Great, I haven't really been out of the house since the surgery, except going to the hospital regularly." Tori said in a sadder tone. She missed school, hanging out with everyone, going for a walk when she couldn't sleep or simply hang out at the beach with her friends or family.

"Don't worry about that. As soon as you get better, we all can make plans for the beach, the park, whatever. Just make sure you get better, alright?"

"Alright." Tori said as her previous sad expression got replaced with a small, yet genuine smile.

They spent the rest of the therapy flicking through the TV channels, commenting on some shows and finally coming to a halt when they found a channel playing only music. They would sing to some of them, or simply talk about the band.

Not too long after that, Dr. Sammuels walked in and took the IV's out of Tori's arms. She removed the cooling packs and slowly tried to get up by herself, almost falling down when her legs gave out under her. Luckily, Andre was there to catch her and help her up. He put his arm around her waist and helped her stay on her feet.

"The first results are back, and I'm afraid to say that they are not as good as I hoped they would be." Doctor Samuels said in a sadder voice than usually. "But don't worry; this is only after the first therapy session. The next results will probably be way better. I see you in three weeks and until then, rest, eat, take your medicine and don't give up." He told her.

Andre looked at Tori. Her face was neutral. Her smile was gone. She wasn't crying or anything, but Andre saw that she didn't take the news as well as she pretended to.

They walked outside as Andre helped her reach his car. He opened the passenger door for her and helped her sit down. He put the seatbelt on her and gave her a small peck on the cheek, kneeling down next to the car.

"Look, I know you are worried about the results, but you heard him. Such things can't become better after one therapy. You know that." He told her, trying to comfort the girl he was in love with as much as he could.

"I know. Thanks for staying with me." Tori told him as she opened her arms. He got up and leaned into the car to give her a hug. She needed the comfort. She needed to feel that someone was with her. After a minute, he sat down into the driver's seat and drove towards Tori's house. After a silent drive home, he helped her out and walked her towards her front door. He watched her attempt to unlock it, but she couldn't. Her hands were shaking too much. He took her hand and helped her put the key into the lock. After unlocking the door, he helped her inside as she took of her jacket.

"Are you tired?" He asked her. She only nodded. He felt how she was barely able to stand on her feet. "Wait." He said and in one swift move he picked her thin body up and carried her upstairs. He carried her into her room and gently lied her down on her bed. He sat down on the edge, next to her.

"You get some rest. I can visit you later if you want me to." He told her, his hand on hers. Before he could get up, he felt her hand grabbing his. He looked back down at her.

"C…can you please stay, at least until Trina, Mom or Dad comes back? I don't want to be alone." She told him in a shaky voice.

"Of course. I'll stay as long as you want me to." He told her as he sat back next to her. He stayed by her side for the next fifteen minutes, before fatigue overtook her and she fell asleep. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before pulling the blanked up to her neck. He looked at her. She looked tired. Her cheekbones were standing out even more since she had lost weight. But it didn't matter to him. It didn't matter that she lost weight, that she had no hair. None of those things mattered, because to him, she was still the most beautiful girl in the world.

Andre slowly got up and walked downstairs, sitting down on the couch and turning on the TV.

Tori woke up in her bed. She didn't remember falling asleep. She took her phone of the desk and checked the time. It was 5 pm. She slowly managed to get out of her bed and walk to the bathroom. After she was done, she took some more comfortable clothes and changed. She opened the door and headed downstairs from where she heard someone talk. Once on the steps, she saw Andre and Trina on the couch, watching some TV show and commentating on everything.

"Hey sis, you woke up." Trina said once she noticed Tori walking down. Tori stood next to the couch and sat down next to Andre.

"Are you hungry? I'll go make you something to eat." Trina got up quickly and headed towards the kitchen.

"You are still here." Tori said, looking at Andre.

"Mhm. I told you I would stay." He answered with his trademark smile. Suddenly, she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." She told him. He placed his arm around her shoulder and gave her a small squeeze.

"Everything for you." He told her in a soft voice.

"Awwww!" Both turned towards the sound, seeing Trina stare at them from where she was. "You two are so sweet!" She said in what she wanted to be a cute voice. Tori shot her a glare while Andre only thought how this moment had been ruined.

The ringing of his phone snapped him out of the moment. He took it out of his pocked and answered it. Tori sat back straight and watched Andre's expression change from curiosity to shock in a moment.

"O…okay. I'll be right there." He stuttered. He ended the call and dropped his hand down.

"What happened?" Tori asked him with a concerned voice.

"My grandma. She… she's dead."


	15. Why I love her

Tori was standing in front of her closet, looking for a certain black dress she had bought months ago. It had been three days since Andre found out about his grandma. She had been over at her daughters, Andre's aunt, for the week and that afternoon she told everyone she was going upstairs to take a nap. They found her lying peacefully in her bed, having passed away in her sleep. Andre's aunt had immediately called his parents in Oklahoma. They both had administrative jobs over there, making a good living. Andre refused to go with them, rather staying in Hollywood Arts and with his grandma, instead of sending her into a home like they planned to. She had been acting weird since having a stroke years ago, but he simply loved her to much to leave her.

Today was the funeral. His parent's flew in, seeing him after two months. All the relatives came too, giving Andre their condolences, knowing how he was the closest to her. Tori hadn't seen Andre since that day. She was worried about him, about his mental state. All the stress in the past few months have taken a toll on him, and she hoped that this wasn't too much for him.

She finally found the dress and put it on. It still fit well on her, although it wasn't as tight on as originally. She took one of her mother's hats. She put it on, over the bandana, and was happy the way it looked. She slowly made her way downstairs, hoping that nobody was home. She didn't tell her parents about her plan to go to the funeral. They wouldn't have allowed her to. She still was weak from the therapy, but didn't care. This wasn't about her, but about Andre. He had been there for her all the time and she would be there to support him now as much as she could. She did tell Trina, who understood, although she didn't want that Tori goes either in the shape she was. Still, she promised not to tell on her.

There was a knock on the door.

"I'm coming." Tori yelled as she walked over there and opened it. In front of her was Jade, dressed in all black herself.

"Hey. Ready to go?" She asked in a rather concerned voice. Tori told her about her intentions of going to the funeral and that she needed Jade to drive her there. Andre was too busy and probably would have refused to let Tori do this three days after her last chemo, and Beck would probably have done the same. Jade was reluctant herself, but some begging from Tori was enough to make the Goth comply.

"Yeah, let's go." Tori said as she walked outside and closed the door. She locked it and began walking towards the car. She felt Jade's arm grab hers as she gave her a sympathetic smile and helped her walk towards the car. Once inside, Jade reversed out of the Vega's driveway and drove off.

"I'll keep an eye on you the whole time, you understand?" Jade said in her typical cold voice, not taking her eyes of the road.

"You don't have to, I'll be fine." Tori assured her, but as expected, Jade didn't care.

"You had chemo three days ago, you barely can walk by yourself, and since I don't need another shock and pull on my nerves, you will stay by my side." Jade told her in a partially aggressive voice. She was under a lot of stress herself. She knew how much Andre loved his grandma. When she heard the news, she immediately drove over to his place, relieved to see Beck and Cat had already been there.

"I'm sorry that I'm pressuring you with this now, but it's really important to me. I simply want to be there for Andre as he has been for me." Tori said weakly, trying to hold back her tears. She didn't want to be an even bigger burden as she already was. Jade sighed as she parked the car on the sidewalk. She let out a sigh and turned to face Tori.

"Look, you are not pressuring me with anything, Tori. I want to keep an eye on you because you are not well. You can't be so soon after the chemo. I know how much this means to you, because I know how much Andre does. And if something happened to you there, I want to be able to immediately do something, and not worry about if you are fine, you understand? Do you think Andre would forgive me if something happened to you?" Jade asked softly, taking Tori's hand. Tori looked at her friend. She saw that Jade was on the edge of tears too. Jade tried to stay strong, rational, in control.

"I understand. Thank you." Tori said in a soft tone, wiping away the small tears that had formed.

After few more minutes, they arrived at the cemetery. There were a lot of people present, and Jade had a hard time finding a parking space. After ten minutes, she finally found one. After helping Tori get out, the girls made their way towards the chapel, arm in arm. In front of it, they found Beck talking to someone on the phone. When he noticed his ex and his friend, he immediately ended the call and walked towards them.

"Tori, what are you doing here?" He asked in a concerned voice.

"I'm here to support Andre." Tori simply said.

"No, I am driving you home; you are in no shape to be here." Beck said, taking Tori's arm.

"Beck, please." Tori said in a weak voice, making Beck stop right in his tracks. He looked at her, saw the pleading in her eyes. He knew why she was doing this, but he was concerned about her too.

"I'll be with her the whole time. If she even breathes heavier I will get her home, I promise." Jade said.

"I will too." They heard someone say. They all turned around to see Cat walking over to Tori and placing Tori's free arm in hers. "I overheard your conversation. We'll make sure she stays okay." She said looking at Beck.

"Alright!" Beck said after a pause and a sigh. "But Andre is not going to like this."

"Then he can stay mad at me." Tori simply said. Beck shook his head in disbelief before motioning to them to come inside of the chapel.

The coffin was open, lots of flowers and pictures placed in front of it. Andre was standing near the altar with his father, talking to the priest. When he turned around to walk towards his seat, he froze once his eyes caught Tori's. He walked towards them, his expression being the one of pure shock.

"Tori?" He said, stopping in front of them.

"Hi." She said before taking a step forward and giving Andre a warm hug. "You didn't think I would let you go through this by yourself?" She whispered to him. He looked at the others in disbelief. After a few moments, he put his hands on her slim waist and gently moved her away a bit, looking right at her.

"You shouldn't be here. You are in…"

"Yes, I am in no shape to be here, I heard that a lot in the past half an hour." She told him with a small smile, but her expression quickly became serious again. "I'm here because of you. Jade and Cat are with me, and believe me, if they even assume that it's too much for me, they will drag me out of here and back home." She explained. Andre looked at the two girls behind Tori, who only nodded at Tori's words while Beck gave him an apologizing look for letting them do this in the first place.

"And there is no way I can convince you to do the rational thing?" Andre asked with a sad smile. Tori only shook her head no.

"Thank you." He said before hugging her again. He didn't expect this from her. Things like this were why he was in love with her in the first place, always trying to help the others, no matter what. "Come, I'll lead you to your seats." Andre said and led them to the empty spaces in the second row, right behind where he was sitting.

Jade and Cat kept their word. During the whole ceremony, they kept an eye on Tori, ready to react to the slightest detail. While the priest was leading the ceremony, Andre's aunt had held an eulogy, talking about her mother. During the eulogy, Andre felt someone's hand on his shoulder. He slightly turned his head, only to see that it was Tori's, who was giving him a small, yet sympathetic smile.

When the time came for the coffin to be buried, Andre felt his heart wrench. The idea that he would be walking into an empty house from now on, his grandma not being there, made him want to scream out in frustration. Whoever up there was in charge must hate him, looking at the events that occurred in the past months. He stood there as he watched the priest say his prayers while the coffin slowly was lowered into the ground. Suddenly, he noticed someone clenching his arm.

"It's going to be okay. I'm here if you need me." Tori told him softly, leaning her head on his shoulders.

Once the ceremony was over, the crowd faded away, as the closest family would gather at Andre's house and spend the night there before driving off in the morning. They all were standing next to Jade's car, as she wanted to drive her home immediately.

"Is there anything you need?" Beck asked Andre, ready to help his best friend anyhow.

"No, thanks man. Just make sure she gets home and rests." Andre said pointing towards Tori.

"I'll drive her home immediately. I only hope your parents aren't home yet." Jade assured Andre before telling Tori the rest.

"You didn't tell them?" Andre asked, looking at Tori in shock.

"They wouldn't have let me. But I'm fine, really." Tori said.

"Alright. Thank you all again for coming. It really means a lot to me." Andre told them, giving each of them a hug.

"If you need something, give me a call." Back said before they all drove off.

Andre got into his car and leaned back onto his seat. He couldn't believe what Tori had done today. He was glad that she was there. He was glad to see how much she cared about him too. It only reminded him why he was in love with her in the first place. He made a decision. He would tell her soon.


	16. The Fountain

Tori was lying in her bed, her laptop right next to her, playing her usual play list. For someone who had always been known as a fan or pop and r'n'b music, she really enjoyed the melancholic sounds that filled the room. Miss Harris unexpected passing got her to think about the situation she is in. It was something she had thought about before, but the recent events gave her a new perspective. She would have chemo in a few days again and see probably get the new results.

But now, she was waiting for Cat, who she promised to have a sleepover with. She hadn't really talked to the redhead for a while. Cat had sent her messages every day asking her how she felt, but they haven't really hung out together like Tori had with Jade or Andre or even Beck. Tori wasn't mad, she couldn't be. Not at Cat. Probably nobody could. But today, they would have their chance to finally hang out together again. They would watch movies, talk, and eat candy or whatever. Tori was simply happy she could spend some time with her friend again without doctors being around or someone else disturbing them.

She heard a knock downstairs and got up. She was happy that she could at least walk normally again. It always took her a week to recover from the chemo, and this time it wasn't different. Tori walked downstairs and opened the door, smiling when she saw the redhead standing in front of her with a giant, pink bag hanging from her left shoulder.

"Hi!" Cat happily said as she dropped the bag and wrapped both arms around Tori.

"Hey." Tori greeted and hugged her back. After a few seconds, they both let go. Cat picked up her bag and walked inside.

"Where are your parents? Trina?" Cat asked from the living room.

"My parents went to visit some relatives and won't be back until tomorrow evening. Trina is at a friends place, having a sleepover herself." Tori answered from the kitchen where she was searching the fridge for something to drink.

"They left you alone, you know, while you…" Cat stuttered, not finishing the sentence.

"They left Trina with me, but I got her to leave for tonight. It's fine as long as someone is with me. I had to beg her to get out tough. I promised her to call immediately if I began feeling bad." Tori explained.

"Well, who can blame her? She is simply protective. You are her baby sister after all." Cat said, sitting down on the couch.

"I know, I know… But she has her own life to live. And I'm fine, aren't I?" Tori asked, placing two bottles of lemonade of the table as she sat down next to Cat.

"You do look better then the last time I saw you." Cat told her, remembering the funeral. Tori had barely been able to stand on her own. Had Jade and Cat not held her the whole time, she would have collapsed right there.

"Yeah, I did get an earful from Trina when I got back, but I had to be there. After everything, I owe it to Andre."

"You don't own anyone anything, Tori." Cat said softly, taking the bottle, opening it and taking a sip of the lemonade. "So, what are we going to do?" She asked, trying to change the subject. She didn't want to talk about those things. She had already done that to death with the others, and she was pretty sure Tori had herself.

"I thought we could order a pizza and watch a movie." Tori suggested.

"KK. Fine by me." Cat said, happily taking the telephone and dialing the number of her favorite pizzeria. Tori got up and walked upstairs, to her room. She had read about a movie while she had been in the hospital and immediately bought it online as soon as she could. She already watched it three times, but still wanted to watch it again with someone else. She took the DVD and walked back downstairs, where Cat had been changing TV channels looking for anything interesting. Tori walked towards the TV set and placed the DVD in the player. She pushed it inside and walked back to the couch. She sat back next to Cat and took the remote to switch it to the movie. Just as she wanted to press play, the bell rang. Cat got up and opened the door.

"Hi!" She greeted the delivery.

"Hi. Here's your pizza. That's 12.50$" The delivery guy said in a neutral tone.

"Here you go." Cat gave him the money and closed the door behind her. She placed the box on the table and opened it, taking a slice immediately. Tori took one herself, knowing that she would probably work on that one piece through the whole movie.

"What movie are we watching?" Cat asked before taking another bite.

"Have you ever heard of _The Fountain_?" Tori asked her.

"No. What's it about?"

"Well, you'll see." Tori said with a small smile. She pressed play and leaned back on the couch. Cat took the chance and leaned her head on Tori's shoulder, to which Tori only leaned her head on Cat's.

The movie started as a Bible passage slowly was written down on a piece of paper, the scenery immediately changing towards a man kneeling before an altar.

"Is that Hugh Jackman?" Cat asked.

"Mhm. I was surprised myself to see Wolverine in this." Tori answered with a chuckle.

Cat gasped as the man walked outside to be attacked by what seemed to be a tribe with spears. He fought them off before entering a temple where the tribe's priest managed to stab him in the stomach. After he saw his wound, the shaman swung at him with his flaming sword, only for the scenery to change to the same guy, only bald now, as he was meditating in a bubble that was traveling through space. In that bubble was a giant tree the protagonist began talking too.

As the movie continued, Cat sat up straight while the plot unfolded in front of her. Jackman portrayed three characters in three different plots, one in the past, present and future. The past plot was about a conquistador who travels to the Mayan temples looking for the tree of life so he can gain immortality for himself and his queen. The present timeline shocked her the most. It was about a doctor who was searching for a cure for cancer. His wife, played by Rachel Weisz, had brain cancer and he was desperate to find a cure while she seemingly was in the final stages of the disease. The plot from the future was about the same protagonist traveling to a dying star, talking about immortality. The background from the future plot was incredible, as it portrayed the stars in a beautiful combination of only two colors, black and gold.

The movie took both girls in immediately. Cat found herself gasping at the death of his wife. She began to cry at the story. She turned to Tori, to see her watching all this with a stoic expression.

. The last ten minutes of the movie were an amazing demonstration of how the three plots flow into one, Clint Mansell's soundtrack giving it an incredible atmosphere. The end of the movie saw the protagonist come to terms with death and accept it as something natural, also finally accepting and coming to terms with his wife's passing.

The movie ended as Tori turned the DVD player off. The room was filled with silence for a few minutes, Tori sitting there calmly while Cat was absorbing what she had just seen. It was an amazing movie, but realization quickly hit her. Tori had shown her this for a reason. Cat, whose eyes were filled with tears, turned her head to look at Tori.

"What do you think?" Tori asked her without looking at the crying redhead next to her. "I love this movie and the message it gives. The last soundtrack is Mansell's _Death is the road to awe_. I always listen to it when I think about everything that happened in the past few months." Tori explained.

"Why did you pick this movie?" Cat asked the question she already knew the answer to, hoping that she was wrong. Tori finally turned around to face her.

"I picked it because it's about something that could soon happen." Tori said, Cat immediately understanding. She was right. Tori made her watch this to prepare her for her possible passing.

"I… No! No it won't!" Cat said trying to make her voice as strong as she could, but the only thing that came out was barely above a whisper.

"Cat. I know you don't want to hear this…"

"Tori, you are not going to die! At least not now! You will get healthy again." Cat cried out.

"Come with me." Tori took Cat's hand and got up. She walked Cat outside, to her garden, the place she had shown Jade a few weeks ago. Tori lied down on the blanked and patted the place next to her. Cat lied down next to Tori, who had her hands on her stomach.

"I don't know if Jade told you about this, but I always come here when I need to think." Tori explained, looking at the beautiful and clear night sky. She loved California for this. The weather was great more often that it was not.

"Tori, please…"

"Cat, listen to me. After what happened to Miss Harris, I understood that I can't expect a happy ending. Sometimes they simply don't happen. You all already know that my chances were fifty-fifty. But after my last chemo, my doctor told me that my results were not as good as he hoped for." Tori told Cat, who leaned on one elbow and looked at Tori in shock. She couldn't speak. She wanted to say something, but nothing would come out. Her voice disappeared. Tori looked at her friend and put an arm around her, pulling Cat closed so that Cat's head was now on Tori's shoulder. Tori placed a soft kiss on Cat's head.

"I simply want you all to prepare for the worst, you know. I don't want people to grieve because of me. I want you to keep the fond memories, the happy ones. I don't want you to be even sadder because of me." Tori explained. She felt Cat's arm wrap around her stomach as Cat pulled her closer. Tori felt Cat's tears fall on her shoulder. She didn't want to make Cat cry, but it was necessary. "I'm not afraid of dying. I accepted it as something natural. As Clint Mansell said, death is the road to awe."

"I don't want to loose you." Cat said through her sobs. "Please, Tori. You have to fight. You have to!"

"Cat…"

"No!" Cat shook her head, burying it into Tori's neck. "It might sound selfish, but I don't care. You can't leave us! What about me? Jade? Beck? Trina? Your parents? What about Andre? Oh god, Andre!" Cat said through her sobs.

"You guys can make it without me. I know it would be the worst for Andre. First his grandmother and now possibly me… But he will make it. Time heals all wounds." Tori said.

"No, you don't understand. If you leave us… it would break him."

"Cat…"

"Tori, he can't loose his grandma and the girl he loves and still be okay!" Cat cried out. Tori froze at what she heard.

"W…what?" Tori stuttered, looking down at the crying girl in her arms. Cat then realized what she had said. She didn't mean to. It simply said it in the moment.

"Andre… he's been in love with you for so long now. Imagine if he looses you now." Cat finally said, getting up a little bit and looking Tori right in the eyes. Tori lied there, silent. She didn't know. She never expected this.

"Andre… is in love… with me? How? When?"

"Since he saw you for the first time. I noticed it the first time I saw you two together. That what happened in the hospital… his change of behavior, he was jealous when he saw Danny walk out of your room. And then when you mentioned him…" Cat explained, thinking that now she could openly talk about it since she already spilled the news.

"I… I didn't know." Tori stuttered.

"Nobody but him did. I only assumed it first, but after what he had done in the hospital, I was sure."

Silence formed around them, both taking in the information they had received. Tori felt emotions overwhelm her. Now so many things made sense. She didn't know what to think; how to feel.

"Tori, I beg you, fight it. Beat it. For all of us, but especially for him. Please Tori! We need you. You mean so much to us." Cat cried again, hugging Tori tighter to her. Tori turned her body to hug Cat back, letting the tears flow freely down her cheeks. She needed to think. She needed to… She didn't know. All this changed everything she had prepared herself mentally for. She didn't expect this to happen. The news about Andre… changed everything again.

"Let's go to sleep, it's already late." Tori said. Cat got up and helped Tori get up too. Both girls walked upstairs, changing into their pajamas. Both lied down in Tori's bed. Tori felt Cat hug her as a child would a parent that was leaving.

"I love you." Cat told her, giving her a small kiss on the cheek before burying her head into Tori's shoulder. Tori cupped Cat's cheeks with her hands and kissed her forehead gently, wiping away the few tears still falling from Cat's cheeks. She hugged Cat closer to herself, so that both were comfortable.

"I love you too." Tori said, saying one more thing before both fell asleep.

"I'm not going down without a fight."


	17. Worth a shot

„And she was talking about her own death? " Jade asked, her expression filled with disbelief. She received a call from a shaken Cat earlier, begging her to come over. Jade immediately knew that it had something to do with Tori, since they had a sleepover just a day earlier. Once she was at Cat's place, she found her friend lying in her bed, crying softly. Jade sat down next to her, placing her hand on her crying friend's shoulder. Cat immediately hugged her, not able to stop her tears yet. Jade hugged her back, and after a few minutes of her calming Cat down, the crying had finally stopped. Cat told Jade what happened at Tori's place the night before, about the movie, about Tori's words and how she accidentally told her about Andre.

"Mhm." Cat confirmed with a small nod. They both were sitting on the bed next to each other, their backs leaned on the wall, Jade having one arm around Cat's shoulders while Cat leaned her head on Jade. "She… she said she wasn't afraid of it and how she didn't want us to be sad and grieve because of her."

"God damn it!" Jade cursed, frustrated with everything happening in such short time. First Tori gets sick, then Andre's grandmother dies out of nowhere and now she finds out that Tori's results were bad and Tori herself talked about her own death.

"What if she is right?" Cat suddenly asked, taking the Goth by surprise. Silence filled the room for a few minutes, Cat waiting for the answer while Jade allowed the scenario to play out in her head.

"We can't think like this. It's going to be okay." Jade said, gently giving her best friend a squeeze.

"But what if it doesn't end up okay? What if Tori… dies?" The last word left Cat's mouth barely a whisper. Jade felt Cat tense up as new tears formed themselves in the brown eyes of the small redhead. Truth is Jade didn't know herself. Like everyone else but Tori, she had refused to think about that option. Even thinking about it made her tear up immediately.

"Then… we will have to find a way… and live on." Jade told Cat in a shaky voice. Cat looked up to see the usually strong Goth allowing her tears to flow freely.

"I hope we will be able to." Cat said weakly.

"Tori is not yet dead, Cat. And who knows, maybe this one damn time life can give us a happy ending to a tragic story." Jade said, trying to calm her best friend and herself down as much as possible.

"When we went to sleep, after the conversation we had, we went to bed and I hugged her for dear life. I told her that I loved her. And she said the same, but I heard her say something else. I don't know if she told me or herself, but she said that she wouldn't go without a fight." Cat said through her sobs. She looked up to see Jade smiling even while the tears were still flowing freely.

"So she is still holding the promise she gave me." Jade said with a small chuckle as she shook her head. "If she is going to fight, so are we." Jade said before removing her arm from Cat and getting up. She held out her hand for Cat to get up.

"Where are you going?" Cat asked, trying to wipe away her tears.

"We are going to fix our makeup and go get something to eat. Come on, I'll pay this time." Jade said with a smile, trying to keep a positive attitude. It wasn't usual for her, but she knew someone had to. And the only one she trusted with that in this situation is she herself.

"KK". Cat answered as she took Jade's hand and got up. She hugged the taller girl around the neck immediately.

"Thank you for listening to me. You are the best. I love you." Cat said before giving Jade a small peck on the cheek. She felt Jade hug her back.

"I… I love you too." Jade told her for the first time. They separated as Jade watched Cat's tearstained face light up with a bright genuine smile. Jade wished she had said such things before. Now, she realized that people can simply leave without a warning. People that meant so much to her, yet she had taken for granted.

They fixed their makeups and walked outside towards Jade's favorite coffee place. They had spent a lot of time there in the past few weeks, always talking about the situation and exchanging information.

"Hey, Cat!" They heard someone yell behind them. They turned around to see Danny run towards them. Once he reached them, he gave Jade a quick "Hi" and turned to Cat.

"Hey, why didn't you call, we were supposed to meet half an hour ago." Danny asked her in a caring tone.

"Oh no, I forgot." Cat said in a worried tone. She did forget it after everything that happened. "I'm sorry, it's because of Tori and everything and…"

"It's okay; I was just worried that something happened. I didn't want to call you because I thought you were still with Tori." He explained.

"I'm really sorry. I'll make it up, I promise." Cat told him looking him right in his eyes.

"Hey, don't worry about it. I just came to see if everything's okay. Call me when you have time, okay?" He asked her.

"Okay." She answered him with a small smile.

"Alright. I'll see you later." He said before giving her a quick kiss. "Jade." He said his goodbyes and went beck to his chopper. He drove off, while Jade and Cat began walking again.

"I see you two are back together again." Jade said with a smirk.

"Heh, he's great. I love it how he worries about me yet isn't controlling. You just saw. I think I would have freaked out if I was in his shoes." Cat admitted.

"I know I always did, but why would you?" Jade asked curiously.

"Well, I don't trust him completely yet because of you know what, but he trusts me and that is something rare these days, isn't it? We don't argue, and when we do, it's about something important. I also love how he admits his mistakes." Cat explained. Jade thought back at her relationship with Beck. It wasn't nearly like that. Jade was always jealous while Beck would always push her buttons since she would freak out anyway. That was why they were always arguing. They would always argue about the small things because they were scared to confront the big issues.

"I'm so happy for you." Jade honestly said. "I don't think he will make that mistake again. This time you found yourself a keeper."

"You need to talk to Beck finally. It's been eight months since your breakup. And I know that you still love him."

"I do…"

"Then what are you waiting for?"

"It's simply because I think he moved on. Had Tori not pushed him away, he would have kissed her. He would have found someone else."

"We already talked about this a thousand times. He tried to move on, but he didn't. Just open your eyes for once. You think he wouldn't already have a girlfriend if he honestly wanted one?" Cat asked, leaving Jade silent. Cat was right about that. A guy like Beck doesn't stay single except he wants to. And she knew for a fact that he hadn't seen anyone since their breakup.

"You are right. I… just need the right time. The right moment, you know."

"That's what Andre said, and then I screwed it up."

"Well, if you didn't tell her, I don't think she would have ever found out. He's been tiptoeing around it for too long. Maybe she will do the first move now."

"I don't think she will. With everything going on in both of their lives…"

"Well, maybe we could help somehow."

"Hey, you help yourself with your own relationship first." Cat told her with a smirk.

"Well, thanks Cat." Jade said in full, usual sarcasm.

In the meantime, the guys shared a similar conversation. Oblivious to what Tori had told Cat, they talked about Andre's plan and how he wouldn't call her out for a dinner as he planned.

"It's just too soon for me. I mean, my grandma died just a week ago. I simply don't feel like doing it." Andre explained. He was mentally and emotionally drained.

"I understand, but you will have to tell her eventually. Just… finally let it out. You will feel better. It's one giant hurdle of your shoulders." Beck told him. He understood Andre's tough situation.

"I know… it's just… with everything going on… I'm not even really afraid of getting rejected, you know. I'm more afraid of me and her getting together, and then her dying. I don't think I could take it." Andre explained, letting out a big sigh.

"I'm going to be honest with you. You can not tell her, and then regret the moments you missed, the great memories you could have made, or you could tell her and enjoy every damn moment she has on this world. But…" Beck said, placing his hand on his best friends shoulder. "There is always option C. Think about it. What if you two get together and she gets healthy again?"

"What are the chances for that?" Andre asked, looking at Beck.

"Slim, very slim. But isn't it worth a shot? I mean, as overused as this statement is, but you only live once. Take the chance, maybe this one time, life will give you something good."

Andre nodded slightly at Beck's words. Beck was right. The cons were by far outweighed by the pros this time.

"You are right. But how should I approach this?"

"Just… wait for a moment. I'm sure it will come."

"its funny man, you are giving me relationship advices while you still don't want to figure out your own."

"Heh. Yeah, that really is funny. And dumb. I really want to talk to her about it, but… I know she knows about me trying to kiss Tori that one time." Beck explained. He remembered when he told Andre, how much spite appeared in Andre's eyes that day. But once he made clear that he didn't have such feelings for Tori after all, Andre calmed down. Now he knew why. Had Beck known before about Andre's feelings for Tori, he would never have done that.

"You made a mistake. You tried to move on. But you can try."

"I don't know…"

"Hey, you only live once." Andre told him with a smirk, earning a friendly punch to the shoulder.

"Now I know why I hate that statement. But you are right. I think we both need to figure this out."

"Yeah, I guess we have to." Andre said. Suddenly, Beck got up.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to make my move." Beck said confidently.

"You don't even know where she is."

"I think I do. Either she is at home, or at the coffee shop. I've wasted enough time."

"Good luck." Andre yelled after him while Beck walked towards the door.

"Thanks." Beck shouted back before closing the door after him.

"I'll need it."


	18. Apologies

Cat and Jade were sitting in the coffee shop they always hang out in. Jade was enjoying her coffee while Cat was enjoying the piece of apple pie she had ordered. Both girls calmed down from the talk they had at Cat's place. They knew that they couldn't give up. If they felt so bad simply because they are on the sidelines watching everything, they couldn't even imagine how Tori must feel right now. It wouldn't be fair to her for them to give up now or break themselves.

"The pie here is so good!" Cat said with a small moan, enjoying it as much as humanly possible. Jade chuckled at the view in front of her. She was glad that Cat calmed down. It was a shock to her to hear about what happened the day before. She had watched the movie Cat had told her about, _The Fountain_, before, and now remembering it in these circumstances, it brought everything in a new light. She understood why Tori had shown it to Cat. It was easier to do so than simply starting a conversation on such a topic as death. People simply don't think about it. They don't want to. It's something they can't comprehend. Something nobody can understand. Nobody knows exactly what is waiting on the other side, or if there even is another side. So they avoid it at all costs. And Tori couldn't do that anymore. Tori had to think about death. It was a very real possibility to her. Sure, everybody dies at one point, but Tori was in a situation where she could actually see a possible deadline.

Tori also knew that Cat would tell the others, taking that pressure of her. Jade understood that. She understood why Tori hated that. It's why everyone hates telling someone any bad news. To watch someone you care shatter under something you tell them. To watch the hope in their eyes fade away; their expression change from hope to despair; their voice giving up on them as they try to give any type of response. Tori couldn't do that. Not to the others. Not to the people she cared about. It hurt her way to much.

"Hey, Jade." Jade was dragged out of her thoughts by her friend who was now waving her hand in front of her face. "You spaced out. Are you okay?" Cat asked in a worried tone.

"Yeah, just… thinking… you know." Jade answered. She didn't want to tell Cat. Not now. She just had calmed down. Jade didn't want to upset Cat again with what has been going on through her mind.

"Okay. If you need to talk about something, I'm here." Cat softly said as she put her hand on Jades.

"I know. Thanks." Jade said with a weak smile. She was grateful to have Cat in her life. She might not have shown it often, but she did appreciate everything Cat had done for her. People always think that she is dumb, but that was as far from the truth as possible. Cat simply didn't bother herself with useless things and topics. She spaced out and seemed naïve because in her mind, she had better things to think about. Cat was an artist, and she loved loosing herself in the worlds she created in her own mind. It was a world where things would be alright. Places where people weren't bothered with jealousy, hatred or sadness. Jade enjoyed listening to those stories and the places Cat described her. She even showed her some paintings Cat had done. It was a paradise.

Those places were beautiful. They were colorful. Cat told her that simply retreating there allows her to deal with almost anything life had thrown at her in the past. When people would talk to her, demand her response while she was in there, she would simply say anything. Cat had quickly learned that telling something random and stupid easily got people of her case, so she could go back to her own world. Jade was always astonished by Cat's creativity. She even took some of Cat's ideas and implemented them into a couple of screenplays she had written in her free time.

"And you are gone again." Cat said with a small chuckle. Jade smiled herself. There was never an uncomfortable silence between them.

"There simply are a lot of things to think about." Jade simply said before taking another sip of her coffee.

"Yeah, they really are. But if… when everything ends the way it should, the experience will be a great gift." Cat said, looking out of the window. "We all matured in such a short time, didn't we?"

"Yeah… I only wish it didn't take Tori being sick for us to do so." Jade sighed. She noticed Cat looking at something. Jade got even more curious when Cat's lips formed a wide smile. Jade turned around to see Beck standing at the door, looking around for someone. Once he spotted them, he walked towards their table.

"Hi ladies." He greeted both.

"Hey, did something happen?" Jade asked in a slightly worried tone. She did become paranoid after everything. Bad news was something she always expected.

"No, nothing happened. I… I wanted to talk to you." Beck said, his voice not as strong and determined as he wanted it to be.

"Bye." Cat said as she got up and walked away, smiling from ear to ear. "They better get back together." She told herself before taking out her phone. She scrolled through her contacts and stopped at the one she wanted.

"Hey, Danny. Can you come and pick me up? I'm next to the coffee shop near my school." She asked, only to be surprised by his bike stopping in front of her half a minute later.

"Hey, you are lucky I was close. Get up." He told her with a smile. She put on the spare helmet he gave her and sat behind him, wrapping both arms around him before they drove off together.

Inside, Jade and Beck were sitting at the table, uncomfortable silence surrounding them. After a few minutes, Beck let out a loud sigh before finally finding his courage.

"Look, I came here… to talk about…us." He finally said. Jade looked at him with a neutral expression, but inside she was as scared as he was.

"What about us?" She asked him nonchalantly. She loved him, but wouldn't make it easy for him. Not after what he had done.

"About the fact that I'm still in love with you and want you back." Beck told her, looking straight into her emerald green eyes. This time her stoic expression didn't last. She was surprised by his direct approach. He didn't tiptoe around it. He didn't try to make her say it first. He was direct. He meant it.

"You… you still love… what about that attempt to kiss Tori?" Jade finally asked, not wanting to drop her guard. Not this easily.

"Can you blame me for making a mistake? I tried to move on. I really did, but I couldn't. I simply can't be with anyone except you."

"It didn't look that way."

"I know it didn't, but I'm telling you how it really is." He said with a sigh. "After we broke up, almost any girl in our school came running to me. Asking me out and all that. I didn't even think about accepting one time. I simply couldn't. Not while I only could think about you." He honestly said. She looked at her. He saw the battle going on inside her. A part of her wanted to jump over the table, kiss him again and take him back, while the other part was everything bad that could happen again. She could be hurt again by him. The arguments would probably come back. All that held her back from taking him back immediately.

"And what if we get back? Argue again about nothing? Will you leave me again after some stupid arguments?" Jade asked, hurt noticeable in her voice. Beck felt the pain she felt because of him.

"I can't promise you that we won't argue. We probably will. What I can promise you is that I won't be a jerk anymore. I won't push your buttons. I won't look after other girls. I won't leave you again, no matter what. I am tired of waking up every morning, hoping to find you again in my arms. I am tired of watching other guys come to you and hit on you. I'm tired of those airheads that don't understand that I'm not interested in any of them. I want the most important thing in my life back Jade, and that's you. Only you." He told her honestly. She saw a single tear slide down his cheek before he whipped it away. He meant it. She saw it. She also saw how hard it must have been for him to admit all that, and then tell her, even with the chance of rejection.

"I want you back myself. But I'm scared." Jade admitted. Her voice was broke. She felt the tears run down her cheeks. He got up from across the table and sat down next to her, cupping her cheek and gently wiping away the tears.

"I promise you one thing. I won't leave you again. I won't give up on this." He told her before leaning in and kissing her. The kiss was filled with passion and desire. It was something both had missed. Both wanted to do for so long. They finally separated after a few minutes, both gasping for air.

"I'm sorry for being a jerk. Will you take me back?" Beck finally asked. His eyes never left hers. His hands were still cupping her cheeks. After a few moments, she nodded at him, a wide smile appearing on her face. He loved her smile. It was something seldom, but when it happened, when the smile was genuine happiness, to him it was the most beautiful thing in the world. He hugged her for dear life, happiness overwhelming him. She did the same, openly crying, and yet unable to take the smile of her face. She was happy. Finally something good happened to her again.

Both got up and walked towards the counter. The owner was standing there, smiling at them. When Jade took out the money to pay, he only shook his head and gave them both a smile.

"This one is on the house. I'm glad you two are back together." The owner told them, happy to see his two most loyal guests finally together again.

Both walked out of the coffee shop, hand in hand. The smiles on their faces would only be interrupted by the kisses they shared every moment they could.

"So? What now?" Beck asked her, a wide grin on his face.

"Let's take things slow, at least for now. I… just don't want to rush into this. I…"

"I understand. And I agree. One step at a time. We don't need to rush." Beck told her. He gave her one more kiss before saying goodbye and going home. She smiled as she watched him. He turned around one more time to flash her a smile.

Jade slowly began walking home. She was happier than she had been in a long time. Finally, she had him back. She quickly took out her phone and sent Cat a message. It only read ":'D", but Cat understood. The answer she got was a "Yay! :)", and that was enough for them.

She opened the door and went inside. She walked upstairs to her room and lied down on her bed. She checked the time. 8 pm. She quickly got up again and took her car keys. She wanted to talk to someone. She needed to share the good news with a friend that needed it.


	19. Take a risk?

„Honey, you need to eat more. " Holly pleaded with her youngest daughter.

"I know… but I can't. I really can't. I feel as if I'm going to throw up." Tori said, playing with the food on her plate. It didn't help that it was her favorite. She simply couldn't. "I'm going upstairs. I need to lie down." She said before getting up and walking upstairs. Holly let out a big sigh just as David came back home. He immediately noticed.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked while walking towards his wife and giving her a small kiss.

"Tori… she barely eats. She has been so silent this whole time. Asked her like a million times, and she still tells me that everything is fine." Holly said desperately.

"Holly, you can't force her to talk if she doesn't want to. I think she just needs some space from everyone."

"You honestly want me to act as if nothing is going on and ignore all this?" Holly asked, her voice carrying both anger and disbelief.

"I don't mean act as if everything was great, but everyone has been on her case the whole time. Give the child some space to breathe. Since she came home with that diagnosis, you have been basically squashing her every moment you were home."

"What are you talking about?" Holly basically screamed at him. He only sighed.

"What I am talking about is that we can't force her to talk to us if she doesn't want to. We can't force her to do things her body simply can't handle right now. And we definitely shouldn't basically stalk every move she makes. If she needs something or needs to talk, she will tell us or do it herself. What you are doing is basically act as if she couldn't even move without your help. She is sick, but she is strong and proud, and I think that its way better that she tries to deal with things herself instead of whining, giving up and hoping that everyone else does the work now for her." David honestly said. He believed it. In his mind, as long as Tori wasn't just lying in her bed, feeling sorry for herself and letting everyone else take care of everything for her, he knew that she was fighting.

"I… I know you are right… But…" She felt his arms wrap around her body.

"I know it's hard. I know you only want the best for her. I want to watch every step she makes just to be sure she is fine, but we can't do that Holly. She is a smart and strong young woman. You know that she will tell us if she needs something. And if she doesn't want to tell us something, trust me, there are people she does trust. They help her where we can't." He just finished before he heard a knock on the door. He opened the door and saw the young Goth standing there.

"Hi. Is Tori home?" She greeted him in her typical manner, yet she was in a too good mood to simply walk in. She decided to be a bit polite this one time.

"Hi Jadelyn. She is upstairs." He told her before stepping aside and motioning her to come in. She immediately made her way upstairs, while David looked back at his wife. "If something is bothering her, I'm sure she will tell someone now." David said with a small smile before sitting down on the couch, Holly joining him soon.

Jade walked right into Tori's room, not bothering to knock. She saw the half Latina lying in her bed, staring at the ceiling. She didn't turn around to see who opened the door. Jade simply stood there for a few minutes, waiting for Tori to react.

"Mom, I'm fine. I'm just not…" Tori slowly got up and began explaining, but stopped mid sentence when she noticed it wasn't her mother standing there. "Hey." Tori greeted her quietly.

"You expected someone else?" Jade asked with a small smirk. Tori chuckled lightly.

"Mom has been a bit… suffocating me." Tori said. "I know she only means well, but sometimes it's too much."

"I guess now you know how we all feel at times with you." Jade told her in her mock voice, sitting down on Tori's bed.

"I don't talk like that!" Tori protested, lying back down on the bed, facing towards her Goth friend.

"I've got some good news, for a change." Jade said while lying down herself. She was looking at Tori. She immediately knew that something was bothering her. She also knew what it was.

"Really? And what is that good news?" Tori asked curiously, happy that any news was good ones for a change.

"Beck and I are back together." Jade told her with the widest smile Tori swore she ever saw on her face. Tori immediately smiled herself, happy about the news.

"Oh my god! About darn time!" Tori said, an arm reaching forward, hugging Jade.

"It certainly was. But I also heard from Cat what you did. And said." Jade said, her expression changing to a more serious one. Tori's smile was replaced by a frown. She looked away from her friend, as if she was ashamed. Jade shifted, lying now on her back. She placed one arm around Tori and pulled her closer, the younger Vega now resting her head on Jade's shoulder. "Talk to me." Jade simply said, waiting now for Tori's response. She finally felt that she was doing something right. Finally, after all this time, it was her who was the strong one. It was her who would be Tori's support. It felt right. It felt good. The feeling that she could make a difference; that, this time, she could pay Tori back for all the years of support.

"The thing with Andre… him being in love with me… it's just…" Tori sighed, small tears forming themselves in her eyes. She snuggled closer to Jade, needing the contact; needing to feel safe. "I mentally prepared myself for everything as much as I could. I… I even accepted that I could… die. I accepted it. But now…" Tori stuttered through her sobs.

"Now you even have a greater reason to get healthy again." Jade simply said. She didn't want to give Tori any big speeches. She had already done that to death, and so did the others. She wanted to let Tori speak. She wanted Tori to finally open up completely. Everyone always said that it was Jade who had a giant wall around herself. Nobody seemed to notice that Tori had one herself. The fact that nobody knew anything had been wrong for so long was more than enough proof for that. Tori's wall was at least as great as Jade's. It seemed that this was why they trusted each other. They both knew the other ones secrets. They both could harm the other one with the knowledge, and yet both knew that the other wouldn't do that. They both knew how it was to protect yourself with a wall.

"I'm confused. I don't know what to do, Jade." Tori said in a desperate voice.

"Could you imagine being with Andre?"

"I… I'm afraid it could…"

"Ruin your friendship?" Jade finished for her, hearing the trouble Tori had doing it herself. Tori only nodded weakly. She was scared of loosing such a close friend like him, her best friend, in a time where she needed him the most. She was scared to loose everything by the possible end of her life. She didn't want that. Many people wouldn't care in her shoes, but she wasn't like many people. To her, nothing was more important than the people she loved, absolutely nothing. "And what if it works out well?" Jade asked. Tori stayed silent for a few moments. Jade swore she could hear the wheels spinning in Tori's head. Tori never thought about that possibility. After everything that happened in such a short time, Tori found it hard to expect anything good happening to her. This thing was not different.

"I just want something to go right." Tori said through a loud sob. Jade pulled her closer, letting Tori release all the stored emotions. Jade felt like crying herself, but forced herself not to. Tori had managed to dry her tears more than once.

"It will. Just give it a chance. Andre is worth the risk." Jade softly said. Tori cried for at least an hour, Jade not leaving her side. Jade allowed her thoughts to drift away while Tori was crying. She understood why Tori was struggling. She struggled for so long with someone she had been with for so long. Now, Tori, next to everything going on in her life, has to make a decision which could affect the rest of her life. When she finally stopped crying, Jade decided to help her with that.

"I hope you will take that chance. If it does go well this time, and I'm sure it will, you could end up with someone who would never do argue with you about stupid things. He wouldn't be jealous once you get together. Think about it. Isn't it worth the risk? One more risk?" Jade softly said. Tori raised her head, looking at her friend.

"You really think I should?"

"Yes. I do." Jade told her. Tori leaned back onto Jade, a small smile appearing on her face.

"Thank you for listening to me." Tori honestly said, her voice raspy from the crying.

"I wish we could have been friends like this before. I'm sorry I gave you such a hard time." Jade apologized, shocking her friend. For a long time had Jade wanted to change her behavior towards the young Latina. But Jade was afraid of leaving her comfort zone. She was scared of change. Everything had worked so well for so long, but now, she found out that the change was good. Necessary. She would now do everything to pay Tori back. She owed that much to her.

"I was never mad." Tori honestly said. "I understood that you had your reasons. I'm glad that at least now, no matter for how long, you are my friend."

"I hope it's going to be for a long time."


	20. Good news, worse news

People usually get used to things once they do them a few times. Chemotherapy, Tori swore, was not one of those things. No matter how much you mentally prepare yourself, no matter how much you rest, watch what you do, how many pills you swallow, you slowly feel it destroy you. And it literally does. At one point she actually wished that her pain before the surgery came back. It was better than what she would be feeling now. It wasn't really pain, like you felt when you cut yourself or somebody hits you. There is no adrenaline to numb it. There is no feeling better after a short time. It always took a lot out of her, both physically and mentally.

This time Jade and Cat came with her. After the talk Tori and Jade had a few days ago, Tori found another source of optimism. She tried to distract herself with thinking about Andre, and how things could turn out. She found herself drifting into negative thoughts more often than anything else. She knew him. They have been best friends for so long now, she knew him better than he knew himself. Until a few days ago, she believed to be able to read his thoughts simply by glancing at him and reading his expression. But after she found out about him being in love with her, she was everything but sure about it.

Dr. Samuels walked into the room, Tori already sitting in the chair. A nurse came in a few minutes later while Samuels looked through his files. He was a man marked by his job. He usually had no emotion in his expressions. He had watched too many people fade away because of their sicknesses. It was something David Vega could relate to probably best of them all. After a long time of watching people fall, no matter in a hospital bed or on the streets doing a criminal act, you get a thick skin. If you didn't, guild and grief would eat you alive.

This time, his expression wasn't empty. He had a small smirk on his face. While the nurse carefully attached the IV's into Tori's arm, he took out the file he had been searching for.

"Victoria, I am very happy to deliver you the good news, finally. I got your results, and I'm happy to tell you that they got a lot better than the last time. You keep fighting like this, and you might win this war young lady."

The room immediately lit up thanks to three smiles. One was Cat's, who wanted to rush towards Tori and hug the life out of her. The second was Jade's, the rarity of it making it even more special. But the most precious one belonged to the sick girl who was sitting in the chair. It gave her more hope; hope that from now on, things would go right.

"Tori! That is so great. Now you and Andre can get together, marry and make a family, a few nice, talented kids running around!" Cat joked happily. At the last remark, Dr. Samuels gave Tori a confused look. Jade immediately noticed.

"What's wrong?" She asked curiously.

"You didn't tell them?" He asked Tori, ignoring Jade's question. Tori's smile faded away that moment. She lowered her eyes, looking away from everyone.

"Tell what?" Jade asked again, this time stepping next to the doctor. Cat was now concerned herself. She walked next to the doctor herself, waiting for his response.

"I think you should tell them, Victoria." He said before leaving the room. The nurse finished her job and gave Tori a sympathetic smile before she walked out herself, leaving the three friends by themselves.

"Tori?" Cat asked in a soft, yet concerned voice.

"I… I can't have children by myself." Tori simply said. Her voice was weak. It was something she didn't want to admit to herself, not to mention someone else. She didn't want to believe that she wouldn't be able to one time hold her own kid in her arms. That she would never watch its first steps. Hear the first, famous words. It hurt her. It hurt her that the best option that could happen still took something so precious away from her. Sure, she could adopt, but that was not the same. Not to her. She simply did not want to think about it. She didn't want to tell anyone, hoping that maybe it wasn't true. She was in denial, and who could blame her. After everything she had been through, it was a miracle that she wasn't mentally broken into pieces. After all, life did seem to try and shatter all of her dreams.

Cat and Jade froze in their place the moment Tori told them the truth. Cat walked over to Tori and sat down on the chair next to her. She placed her hand on Tori's arm and leaned her head on the sick girls shoulder, trying to comfort her as much as possible. Jade didn't move a muscle yet, absorbing the news she had just heard.

"Tori… I…" Jade tried to speak, but she couldn't find the words. The only one's she could think off at the moment were both not nice to hear and probably forbidden in the hospital.

"I'm so sorry." Cat took over, noticing Jade's problem.

"It's… okay. I've known it since I had the surgery." Tori simply said, trying to blink away the tears. The though of it hurt now as much as it hurt all those months ago, the first time she heard it.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Cat asked, giving Tori's arm a gentle squeeze.

"I… didn't want to believe it myself."

"Tori." Jade said stepping forward, but Tori cut her off mid sentence.

"I always dreamt about having a large family one day. You know how much I love children. I always wanted them myself. A daughter and a son. It… it may sound cheesy, but I really did. And when Dr. Samuels told me… I made him promise not to tell anyone. I swore to him I would do it myself. But…" her voice gave her away.

The rest of the therapy was silent. The only things heard were Tori's sobs and Cat's attempts to calm her down. Jade, on the other hand, walked outside for a moment. She needed to ask the doctor something. She needed to know.


	21. A night at Nozu's

A week had passed since Tori broke the news to Cat and Jade. She hadn't talked to anyone since then. She knew they were worried, that they wanted to help. But this was something they could not help with. This was beyond them.

Right now, Tori was watching herself in the mirror. She took off the bandana and looked at her image. She felt ugly. Not having long hair had its practical reasons, but that didn't make it better. All the weight she lost made her cheekbones stand out even more. She could count every rib she had. She could see her spine clearly. Her legs and arms were like the one of a skeleton. All the curves she had were gone. She took a pillow, and placed it into her tank top, imitating a belly. She felt hot tears run down her cheek as she looked at the image that would never be.

She thought about giving up. Simply let life win. Even if she beats the cancer, it took her something irreplaceable. She let the pillow fall down as she fell back on her bed, crying into the pillow. She tried to be strong. She tried to prepare herself as much as she could. But now, she had to admit it. Life broke her. It broke her spirit. It took so much away from her. The others tried their best. It wasn't their fault. Tori blamed herself. Denial had brought her here, and she knew it. She thought about the fact that her results were better. But the damage was done now, both mentally and physically.

She heard footsteps on the stairs. She thought that it's probably Trina. The door then opened. Tori didn't even bother to turn around. She didn't want her sister to see her cry again. When she felt a hand on her shoulder, she wanted to cry even more. She imagined how desperate they are with her.

"You know that you won't get rid of me, no matter how much you ignore my calls." She heard the other person say. To her surprise, it wasn't Trina. She turned around to see Andre sitting next to her, his hand gently on her back, rubbing small circles on it.

It was the first time she saw him since Cat told her about his feelings for her. She froze when she saw him. She didn't want him to see her like this. Not while she had tearstains on her cheek. Not while her eyes were red from the tears. Not while she felt so ugly.

"I… I'm sorry about… I…"

"You don't have to apologize to me. I understand. Cat told me about… what you told her during the chemo." Andre softly said, his hand still on his the girl he loves back. Silence filled the room. Andre didn't know that Tori knew about him. About his feelings. Cat and Jade kept their word, they didn't tell a soul. Jade did tell Beck, but he swore himself not to tell Andre. They didn't want to get too involved. They helped opening the doors, but now Andre and Tori have to walk through themselves.

"Look, today is a party at a new club they are opening. And I want you to come with us. You haven't been out of the house for real for months now. I know you will have fun." Andre told her. She looked up at him.

"I… don't know if I should. I…"

"Look, I won't force you to, but you need to distract yourself a bit. You've been crying again, I can see that. I just want to help you take your mind off everything, at least for tonight. We go out, have something to eat, dance a bit, you know. Beck, Jade, Cat and Danny are going to be there too, and we all want you to come. I promise you that you will have fun." Andre told her. He imagined that staying at home all this time was part of the problem. He knew he would go crazy if he didn't leave the house for a few days, not to speak of months.

Tori lied there, allowing Andre's touch to comfort her. She struggled with herself. She wanted to go out, have fun with them. Simply forget for a moment what was going on. She wanted to spend time with Andre. She wanted to tell him that she knew. That she felt the same. She wanted to give them a chance. But there still was something holding her back. There still was that fear off everything falling apart. The fear that it would go wrong, like so many things have in such a short time. She so wanted something to go right again. Something important like this going wrong would only shatter her completely. It would break her for good.

She snapped out of her thoughts when she felt Andre turn her around and pick her up. He carried her out of her room, bridal style, and carried her down the stairs.

"What are you doing?" She basically yelled at him in confusion.

"Let's see what your parents say, since you won't listen to me." He said with a smirk. Once downstairs, he put her down while David and Holly were looking at them.

"Uhm, is there a reason you carried her downstairs?" David asked, taking his eyes of today's newspaper for a moment.

"I wanted to ask you about me taking Tori to a party at Nozu's. I think she needs to get out of the house again." Andre explained.

"Tori, you want to go?" David asked, looking at his daughter. She didn't respond, looking away. She didn't know. For some reason, she was afraid of going out with them.

"I think you should." Holly said all of the sudden, earning a shocked look from both her daughter and her husband. "What? She hasn't been out of the house for months, except to go to the hospital. And Dr. Samuels told us a thousand times that she needs to relax and keep away from stress as much as possible." Holly explained, earning a genuine smirk from David.

"Andre, you promise to make sure she stays safe and comes home in one piece?" David asked the young man.

"Yes, sir. I won't let anything happen to her." Andre said with confidence.

"Then you kids have some fun." David told them, looking back down at his papers.

"When should she be home?" Andre asked.

"Let her decide. She is almost eighteen and a responsible young woman. Just have fun and give us a call if you need a ride home." Holly said, making David's smile widen even more.

Andre looked back at the girl standing next to him.

"So? You heard your parents. Come on. For me?" He asked her, making a puppy face. He had thought about bringing Cat with him. Her puppy eyes could make everyone do what she wants them to.

"Alright. I'll come with you." Tori said with a weak smile.

"Yay!" Andre said before giving her a quick hug. "I'll pick you up at seven. Bye." He said before walking outside.

"Are you two together?" David asked, still looking at the newspapers.

"W…why do you ask?" Tori wondered, turning around to look at him.

"Oh, just asking. If you need something to wear, I think Trina can take you shopping." He said before getting up and walking outside.

It was fifteen till seven now. Tori was sitting downstairs. She was wearing some tight jeans which still were a bit to big for her, a purple shirt and a purple bandana to cover her head. She didn't feel good in her body, but she promised Andre she would go, and she also knew that he told the others immediately. A few minutes later, she heard someone knock on the door. She walked towards it and opened the door, seeing Andre stand at the porch, a big smile on his face.

"Hey." He softly greeted her.

"Hi." She weakly greeted back. They walked to his car. He opened the passenger door for her before walking around to sit on the driver's seat. He drove off and they were at Nozu's ten minutes later. Both walked in to see Beck and Danny sitting at one table, talking about something. Andre and Tori walked towards them.

"Hey guys." Andre greeted them. Both looked at him, and then noticed Tori standing next to him. Both guys smiled as they got up and gave her a hug, happy that she, in fact, did come.

Before she could sit down tough, she heard a loud "Tori!" and before she knew it, as she turned around, she felt someone hug her for dear life. She also knew who it was, noticing all the red hair in the bottom of her eye.

"Hey Cat." Tori hugged her back, happy to see her again. She was glad that Cat seemingly wasn't mad because of Tori not answering her messages. She then noticed Jade standing behind Cat. Jade had her usual frown on her face. Tori hoped Jade wasn't too angry at her. After all, she had every reason to.

"Hey. I'm sorry I didn't…" She got interrupted by Jade taking a step towards her and pulling her in a gentle hug.

"I'm not mad. I'm glad you are here." She softly said. Tori felt relieved.

"Thank you." Tori barely whispered as she hugged Jade back. They all sat down on the table and ordered their food and drinks. The atmosphere was great. Danny and Beck were joking around while the others would talk about random things. Music, movies and school were the most prominent topics.

"Are you having fun?" Andre asked Tori, who had stayed mostly silent the whole time.

"Yes. I am. I just enjoy listening to you guys. I haven't hung out with all of you since…" Tori didn't finish the sentence. She couldn't remember when the last time was she had spent time with all of them together.

"Well, you are now, so get used to us." Beck told her from across the table, giving her a small smirk.

"God, this food is amazing!" Danny said all of the sudden, turning the attention to him. He looked back at them, confused. "What?"

They shook their heads before continuing the conversations. Tori played with her food a bit, not feeling hungry at all. She was glad that she came here tough. It felt good to see everyone outside of her house or the hospital.

After they were done eating, Cat had an idea.

"Hey, how about karaoke?" She asked, looking at Tori and Jade. Jade smirked immediately, while Tori didn't respond at all. She looked at everyone at the table, while all of them were looking at her, waiting for her response.

"I… I haven't sung for months. I would only make you look worse." Tori tried to excuse, but it didn't work.

"Don't give me that. Come on." Jade said before getting up and taking Tori's wrist. She pulled her up and walked her towards the stage, a giggling Cat walking right behind them. Cat walked towards the DJ, asking him if she could look at the songs. After he gave her a quick nod, Cat began scrolling through the list. She stopped at one track with a giant smile on her face. Tori and Jade both looked at the song.

"Yes, this one definitely!" Jade said, looking at Cat. Even Tori smiled a bit when she saw the song. She hadn't listened to Queen for a while, but she knew the song by heart. They picked it, took the microphones and the song began playing immediately. The guys at the table grinned as soon as the song began playing, recognizing that it was _I want it all_. They were more than happy to see that Tori was singing the main part.

I want it all I want it all I want it all and I want it now

Adventure seeker on an empty street

Just an alley creeper light on his feet

young fighters screaming with no time for doubt

With the pain and anger can't see a way out

It ain't much I'm asking I heard him say

Gotta find me a future move out of my way

I want it all I want it all I want it all and I want it now

I want it all I want it all I want it all and I want it now

Listen all you people come gather round

I gotta get me a new game plan gotta shake you to the ground

Just give me what I know is mine

People do you hear me just give me the sign

It ain't much I'm asking if you want the truth

Here's to the future for the dreams of youth

I want it all (give it all) I want it all I want it all and I want

it now

I want it all (yes I want it all) I want it all (hey)

I want it all and I want it now

I'm a man with a one track mind

So much to do in one life time (Do you hear me people?)

Not a man for compromise and where's and why's and living

lies

So I'm living it all (yes I'm living it all)

And I'm giving it all (and I'm giving it all)

Yeah yeah

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

I want it all all all all

It ain't much I'm asking if you want the truth

Here's to the future

Hear the cry of youth (hear the cry hear the cry of youth)

I want it all I want it all I want it all and I want it now

I want it all (yeah yeah yeah) I want it all I want it all and I

want it now

I want it

Now

I want it I want it NOW!

Tori finished singing, her voice coming back to her old strength while she was singing. The girls hugged on stage and bowed before the crowd, which was giving them a standing ovation. The girls walked back towards the table, where the guys greeted them with more applause and praise.

"That was great!" Andre told Tori before hugging her.

"Told you we would have fun." Jade told her with a smile.

Since the girls had sung, the place lived up more than ever. People were singing and dancing together, having fun. Beck was dancing with Jade while Danny had Cat were talking and kissing by the table. Tori sat there, a bit uncomfortable since she felt like the fifth wheel.

"Can I ask you for a dance?" She heard a familiar voice behind her. She turned to see Andre standing there. He had just finished singing.

"Sure." She said with a smile. Both felt nervous. Tori thought about simply telling him that she knew. They began dancing while _Miracles _by Jefferson Starship was playing in the background. He had his hands around her hips while she had her arms around his neck.

"Thank you for making me come here with you. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun." She told him honestly.

"I'm glad you came. It was worried and wanted you to relax. Simply enjoy yourself for a while."

"Thank you for everything." She told him before hugging him closer. His heart skipped a beat or two, but he kept his cool. As much as he could. _Now or never!_ He thought.

"Look, there is something I wanted to tell you for a long time now." He finally began. "I… We've know each other for so long now… and I…"

"I already know. Cat… kind of told me one day by accident. We had a serious conversation and… she didn't mean to tell me, don't be mad at her." Tori explained. Andre froze where he was standing, not expecting this. A part of him was shocked. He had gone through this conversation in his head at least a million times, but he never expected this. Another part was relieved because it finally was out. She finally knew.

"Are you still in love with me?" Tori asked him, her voice weak, near breaking.

"I never stopped being." He told her, having found his own voice finally.

"Even with me being like… this?" She said looking down.  
"What do you mean?" He asked her. He didn't understand what she meant. Of course he still loved her, no matter if she was sick or not.

"How can you love a sick, bald, ugly girl like me? I mean, think about it. We get together now, and in a few months, you might have another funeral, this time for me. Or even if I get better, and we even decide to marry, I still wouldn't be able to give you a true family. I can't have kids. I…" He cut her off by cupping her cheeks with both his hands and shutting her up with a kiss. It was full of passion and stored emotions on both sides. He had wanted to do this for years now, and finally, he was doing it. She was hesitant at first, but kissed him back only a few moments later. Her inner struggle grew weaker. The negative side grew weaker every moment. They separated after a minute, gasping for air. She looked at him with her tear-filled eyes, filled not only with sadness, grief, guilt, but now something else. Hope. His hands were still on her cheeks, wiping away the tears that began sliding down.

"It doesn't matter to me if you are sick. It doesn't matter to me how you look. To me, no matter what, you are and will always be the most beautiful girl in the whole damn world. And if life does decide to take you away from me, I want to spend every moment I can with you. I know you are scared. I know everything has gone wrong until know. I'm scared too, but I won't let it control my life anymore. I want to be with you. I want to be able to hold your hand while you recover. I want to be able to kiss you every time I want to. I want to be the main reason you still fight this disease. You think too far into the future. Let us take one step at the time. Right now, I want you to be my girlfriend. I want you to take this risk with me. If it goes wrong, so be it. But to me, it's worth it." He finished, putting out his emotions into every word he said. He meant all of it. He would be there for her, no matter what.

Her tears were flowing openly by now. She couldn't believe what she heard. Her inner struggle fell quiet. The part that told her that things would go wrong died down. This time, it was here who kissed him first. She felt him smile under the kiss, which made her smile herself. Now, for the first time in months, for both of them, something was actually going right.

"Tori, will you be my girlfriend?" He finally asked her again, after they separated.

"Yes!" She told him with a smile. The tears were still flowing, but those were not tears of sadness anymore. She was happy. He immediately hugged her before kissing her again. It felt like a dream for both of them.

When they finally separated, they noticed that everyone had been looking at them now. They both turned into multiple shades of red before they found themselves surrounded by the other two couples.

"I guess you two are now together?" Danny asked with a grin.

"Yes. We are." Tori said with a wide smile as Andre put his arm around her.

"About time. Come on, it's still early. Let's have fun." Beck told them before taking Jade's hand and returning to the dance floor with her. The others followed them. Tori spent the rest of the evening dancing with every one of her friends, but ended the last song in Andre's arms, smiling out of happiness.


	22. Her Knight

What do you do once you get something you always wanted, only for someone or something else trying to pry it away from you? Andre asked himself that question everyday since he and Tori got together. He found an answer on one sleepless night. He decided he would do something every day for her that would make the day special. He would make sure that every day, until the rest of her life was special.

Today would be the first day he would do so. Two weeks passed since that one night at Nozu's and Tori found herself in the hospital again. It was her fourth session of chemotherapy, and her body was already running on reserves. Dr. Samuels knew it too.

Tori was sitting in the chair she dreaded so much while Andre was with her. They had been inseparable since they got together. No matter if they were hanging out with the others, or if it was just the two of them, they enjoyed every second of it. The others were more than happy for them. After all those two went through, they deserved happiness. And it was one of life's old jokes if you think about it. Two people who suffer finding comfort in one another.

"I don't think I can take many more of these." Tori weakly said. She was tired of chemo. She was tired of feeling weak and fatigued all the time. She wanted to spend as much time with the others, especially Andre, but found herself more often than not dozing off after a short time. She was simply tired. The others understood. Every now and then she would wake up either in her own bed after falling asleep on the couch or a blanked put over her to keep her warm. But no matter how much she rested, it never seemed to be enough.

"This is your fourth one. I don't think there can be many more. Just pull through. You've done it until now." Andre encouraged her.

"Only because of you guys. Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. You know I'll do anything for you. And so would the others." Andre said as he leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss. He swore he was addicted to her lips. But there was something else. That small, genuine smile she would always give him after they kissed meant more to him than anyone could imagine. He was the reason she smiled. He was the one who could make her smile. Make her happy.

"I can't wait for my appetite to come back." Tori joked and actually meant it in the same time. She wanted to be able to eat again without throwing it all up. She wanted to be able to get her body back. It wasn't because of Andre. She knew he loved her no matter what. He had proven that. It was for her. She wanted to feel good again in her body. She wanted to be able to wear something with confidence again. She wanted people to stare because she was beautiful to them, not because of pity.

"Once it's back, I'm taking you out to that dinner I promised you. We kind off had forgotten about it because of my grandma." Andre said in a sadder tone, smiling a sad smile at the memory. He missed her. It felt weird at home without her. But he would pull through. He knew that his grandma would be proud of him. She had always been.

"Can't wait." Tori said with a small smile. She wanted to get up and hug him, but after she overdid her movements earlier, she learned to take it slowly. After opening her wound after the surgery a few times, she learned her lesson.

Dr. Samuels walked in an hour later. He had interrupted a seemingly trivial conversation about school.

"Victoria, how do you feel?" He asked her.

"Tired, crappy, exhausted. All of those." She told him honestly. He carefully removed the IV's and the cooling packs before turning around to look at Andre.

"I remember you. You were here once. Are you her friend?" He asked.

"Boyfriend." Andre told him with a wide, proud smile. He really felt good saying that.

"Oh. Well, then I have some news for the two of you." Dr. Samuels told them.

"What is it?" Tori asked, slowly trying to get up, but then deciding she should keep sitting, in case the news isn't good ones.

"Well, this might be your last therapy session." Dr. Samuels told her, watching a wide smile form itself on his patients face. "But, only if the circumstances are right. You see, your results have vastly improved, and if the ones in two weeks are what I expect them to be, you, Victoria, would be healthy again." He explained to them. Tori's smile got replaced by another expression. It went from shock to realization back to a smaller smile. "I will send you a letter with the results in about two weeks. If the results aren't what they should be… well, we will have to start over with new medication, if you want to." He told her before walking outside. He knew that she needed time to absorb the news. It was big news after all. Her life would again be changed in two weeks.

Andre helped Tori get up and walk to his car. She had been silent the whole time, thinking about what the doctor had just told her. It all seemed to be a coin flip again, just like after the surgery. But this time she wasn't sure if she could take it. Not again. She didn't have the strength to do so. She just wanted it to stop.

When they arrived at Tori's place, Andre carried her inside and to her room. He was happy that no one was home yet. Many would think that it was stupid to leave a sick kid at home like this, but Tori wasn't a kid anymore, and there wasn't really anything they could do for her even if they watched her 24/7. It would have only driven her even more towards craziness. He lied her down in her bed and placed a soft kiss on her forehead before covering her with her blanket. He then sent Trina a text to let her know about the news and that Tori was at home. Trina drove back from school almost immediately. As soon as she walked into the house, she walked over to Andre and grabbed him by his shirt.

"The doctor said what?" She asked him, both disbelief and hope filling her voice. Andre explained to her what Dr. Samuels had told them. Trina sat down on the couch, not knowing if she should jump out of joy of cry out of desperation. Why did everything have to be so uncertain?

"And what if she isn't healthy?" Trina asked.

"She would have to keep having chemo. Maybe take new drugs. He wasn't very specific. But yeah, it again seems that her life depends on a damn fifty-fifty chance." He told Trina. "Look, there is nothing we can do now except hope for the best and maybe pray."

"You are right. Thanks." She said before hugging him. After a few seconds, they separated. "You know, I'm glad you two got together. I only hope you know what I am going to do to you if you break her heart." She told him in a sweet voice, creeping him out completely. Jade would have loved seeing this.

"D…don't worry. You know I love her. But I need a favor."

"What is it?"

When Tori woke up, she wasn't even surprised to find herself in her bed. She had fallen asleep more than once and almost always ended up here, so she was used to it. She didn't remember falling asleep tough. She changed out of the clothes she was wearing into something new before walking downstairs, where she found Trina and her parents talking. As soon as they saw her, both ran towards her to give her a hug.

"Tori. It's going to be over soon. I know it is." Holly said, tears running down her face. She wanted to stay optimistic. She had to. Anything else wouldn't even try to cross her mind.

"I hope so." Tori honestly said, before she was let out of the tight embrace. She sat down on the couch next to Trina.

"Have you seen Andre?" Tori asked her. She hoped he would be waiting for her like last time.

"Yeah, he said he had something important to take care off." Trina simply told her.

"He didn't say what?"

"Nope."

"Oh." She was disappointed. Tori hoped she would be able to spend some time with him tonight. She didn't want to be alone. _I could call Jade or Cat._ She thought, but that idea flew out of the window when the door opened and she saw Andre standing there. He walked over to her and gave her a quick kiss before whispering something in her ear.

"Get up; I want to show you something." He told her.

"Where have you been?" She asked him, ignoring his request.

"Well, if you don't want to listen." He told her before picking her up and carrying her away, telling the Vegas goodbye on his way out. They only waved back to Tori's shock. Little did she know that Trina had already told them about Andre's surprise.

Andre carried her to his car and gently placed her in the passenger seat before putting on the seatbelt. She pouted at his actions, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You didn't have to kidnap me." She told him in an irritated voice. He only smiled, knowing that everything would be forgiven soon. He drove off, ignoring Tori's questions.

After half an hour of driving and ignoring Tori's threats they arrived. Tori went silent when she saw where they were. He took her to one of the hills, facing the ocean on one side and the beach and town on the other. She was stunned before she found herself in his arms again. He carried her to the top of the hill, where he had placed a blanket where they could lie on.

"Andre… t…this is…"

"Amazing. I know." He told her with a smile. He was right. She already forgot about the "kidnapping".

"H…how did you find this place?" She asked him in disbelief.

"I can't take the credit for that. Beck told me about it once and I called him to tell me where it is. I think he once took Jade here." Andre explained before putting Tori down. She immediately hugged him around the neck before kissing him for dear life. She couldn't believe he pulled off something like this. After they separated, she saw the blanked on the ground. She looked back at him, puzzled.

"Jade told me about the hobby of yours. You know, lie on the blanket in the garden and think. Well, I thought that this place would beat your garden, at least by a bit." He told her with a smirk. His smirk faded when he saw tears form themselves in her eyes.

"Hey, did I do something wrong?" He asked, hoping he hadn't just screwed up. She hugged him again for dear life.

"No, I just can't believe you did this. I'm so happy." She told him through her tears. This was the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for her. So simple and yet everything she could have wished for. They laid down on the blanket, Andre hugging Tori to him, kissing her every now and then. He had thought of everything, placing a single song on his phone on loop so it would play in the background. His choice was more than perfect. _Wonderful tonight _by Eric Clapton has to be one of the most beautiful songs ever made, and it fit the atmosphere perfectly.

"Why did you do this?" Tori asked him suddenly. He didn't answer immediately, still trying to sort his thoughts.

"Why wouldn't I?" He asked back. Surprisingly to him, she sat up, hugging her knees to her chest and resting her head on them.

"If… if things don't go well in two weeks, I understand if you want to break up. I mean… I wouldn't blame you. You did so much for me through all this and…" he didn't let her say one more word before he silenced her by pulling her back to him and hugging her tightly.

"Don't even think about it. I told you, you won't get rid of me. No matter what happens in two weeks, no matter how the results are, I will be by your side, you understand?" He asked her. He felt the tears through his shirt while she nodded. He cupped her cheek and gave her another long, passionate kiss. Once he moved back, he saw her smile up again.

"I promise you, no matter what, I will be here with you and make you smile."

They stayed there until late at night, she in his arms. She felt safe there. She felt happy in them. He was her knight, protecting her from every harm life wanted to throw at them. She only hoped it wouldn't take her away from him. It scared her as much as it scared him.


	23. The Letter

The Vega house was full off people. The gang decided to wait for the letter with Tori and keep her mind of off it at the same time. The guys were sitting on the couch, watching some random movie that was on while Beck spent the whole time explaining to them why the actors did a bad job. Andre didn't stay silent either, bashing the movie for the music chosen. Danny just sat there, listening to both of them, accepting the fact that he had no idea what they were talking about.

Jade, Cat and Tori were making something to eat. It was a weak attempt of distracting Tori, but that's all they could come up with right now. They were nervous themselves, but Tori was by far the worst of them. She was clumsy, would space out and sometimes even forget what she actually wanted to do in the first place. She so wanted for this nightmare to end. She knew that she couldn't take it anymore. Her body grew weaker after each chemotherapy. She just wanted to feel healthy again. She wanted her strength back. She wanted to be able to dance again as she used to do without being tired after few minutes. She wanted to be able to do sports again without nearly passing out after a few attempts. She wanted to see her hair slowly grow back again. She wanted to gain her weight back. She wanted so much, and yet it all would depend on the letter she was waiting for. If she wasn't yet healthy, she would quit. It's not that she wouldn't fight any more. It's not that she didn't want to. She simply couldn't.

"Tori, you okay?" The feeling of a hand touching her shoulder snapped her out of her thoughts. She saw Jade standing in frond of her, concern and sympathy filling her expression.

"Just nervous, that's all." Tori half-lied. She wasn't just nervous. She was scared; frightened to be exact.

"Everything is going to be fine." Jade said those words she had always hated, but right now, it was the only thing she could come up with. It was the only thing she could tell her.

"I hope so." Tori told her with a weak smile, trying to simply get off the topic. Awkward silence filled the place around them, both girls not knowing what to say. It was one of those moments where words didn't help. Both knew that. Tori knew that no matter what she told Jade, she would still worry and Jade knew that no matter what she told Tori, she would still be frightened.

The silence was interrupted when Jade and Tori were both covered in flour out of nowhere. Both girls turned around to see an innocent looking Cat standing behind them, staring away and holding her in flour covered hands behind her back.

"No, you didn't." Jade said before taking a hand of it herself and running after a now screaming Cat. Tori watched them doing their little kitchen fight, laughing at the view in front of her, before felling another thud of flour on her. She watched the now smirking Jade standing across the table from her.

"What are you laughing at, Vega?" She asked her with a smirk, which Tori returned before grabbing some herself. The kitchen fight got the attention of the guys.

"Should we break them up?" Beck asked.

"Nah. Let the kids have fun." Danny said before leaning back on the couch and returning his attention to the movie.

Cat's plan worked. It ended the awkward silence and effectively took Tori's mind of the letter they were waiting for. The kitchen was a mess, but it didn't matter to them. They had fun.

"Okay, now we should clean this up before my mom sees this." Tori said, looking at her flour covered body. "And I need a shower."

"Look, Jade has white hair." Cat pointed out all of sudden, earning another laugh from Tori. Jade only groaned before going upstairs and be the first to take a shower. Tori and Cat did the same as soon as the others were done. Showered and clean now, they sat down next to their respective boyfriends, deciding that they would clean the mess up later.

"I guess we should order a pizza now." Andre said, looking at his friends.

"Well, since those three decided to play war instead of making something to eat, I agree." Beck said before taking the phone. He ordered two big pizzas and placed the phone back in his pocket. Then the door bell rang.

"Wow, they are fast." Danny said, surprised. Tori's eyes grew wide before she jumped off the couch and ran towards the door. She quickly opened it and froze when she saw the delivery man standing there.

"Tori Vega?" He asked, looking at her.

"Y…Yes, that's me." She nervously told him. He handed her the large letter and asked her to sign his board. She did so and he left. She held the letter nervously while she walked back into the house. The others stared at her, waiting for her to open it. She ripped it open before looking through the papers and pictures inside. She finally found what she was searching for. She read the paper in her shaking hand before she let it drop. She covered her mouth with one hand before she began to cry. Everyone immediately jumped towards her.

"Tori? What does it say?" Andre asked her nervously. She hugged him as tight as she could, a smile forming on her face.

"It's over." She simply told him. Beck took the paper out of Tori's hand as they all read it, feeling their emotions overwhelm them. The carcinoma was gone. Tori was healthy again.


	24. Happy End

Five years have passed since Tori conquered her disease. Five years since she won a battle so many fought to loose. She was a winner, and since then she felt like one. Now, the gang was in College, all more than happy to have ended up in the same town again. While Jade was pursuing writing and directing, Cat had found herself in the world of designers, with painting as a hobby. Beck continued his acting career, sharing an apartment with Andre, who was still writing songs for his label and working there as a trainee, knowing that he would have a secure spot in the company once he finishes his education.

Danny wasn't with them, as he and Cat had broken up after two years of a great relationship. Things had come to an end when they realized that the passion was gone. They separated on good terms, still keeping in contact and talking every now and then. Robbie had never rejoined his old group of friends. He didn't even try. Some guessed out of shame, others didn't even try to guess. They didn't care. He went to another state, hoping to become a special effects master.

Jade and Beck, just as Tori and Andre, were still couples, happier than ever. Andre and Beck lived together since they were aware of the possible break ups in the future and wanted to avoid drama of moving out if they lived with their respective girlfriends. It was simply smart thinking, and the girls agreed. They were mature enough at that point that they understood that things could go wrong, and exactly because of that attitude, things seemed to go perfect.

Tori was still pursuing her singing career. She found a hidden talent in songwriting, and with Andre's help, wrote dozens of songs inspired by her experience. Andre got her an audition with his label and the producers were more than thrilled to work with her in the future. Still, everyone wanted to cover all their bases, getting their degrees before pursuing their dreams. The girls were more than happy to be roommates, having grown even closer after everything they had been through.

Now, they were all ready to finish their respective colleges. The girls were getting all dressed up since the guys were taking them out. After a bit of convincing, they got Cat to tag along, promising her more than once that she wouldn't feel left out.

Jade was, surprisingly, the first one ready, while Tori and Cat were still finishing their make up in the bathrooms. While waiting, Jade gave the script she wrote the last touch, finishing it.

"_Life is not a beautiful thing. It's not fair. It's unforgiving. It will throw everything at you, hoping to break you and shatter your dreams. But if you don't give up; if you keep fighting it and keep taking everything it throws at you, you will find yourself as the winner, just as Victoria did. It isn't about fighting it alone. It isn't about always succeeding. It isn't a competition. It is about looking back at everything and being able to tell yourself that you did your best and never gave up. Only then, life might offer you a happy end, as it did to her." _ Jade finished when she felt someone's hands on her shoulder. She turned around to see Tori standing behind her, a smile gracing her face.

"I can't believe you wrote this script about us." Tori told her, trying not to become too emotional. She didn't want to ruin her makeup with tears. She looked better than ever. He hair had grown back to its old beauty while her body had more curves than before, thanks to the regular workout she put herself through. She knew that the cancer could return anytime, so she decided she would welcome it as fit as possible if it decides to try again. This time, she would be ready.

"About you." Jade told her with a smile before closing her laptop. She got up and looked at her friend, remembering how she looked a few years back, after she finished her last chemo. Her body didn't start recovering until a few weeks after she got her results. It took time for the medication to get out of her system. "I'm glad I could end it in a happy end." Jade told her with a smile. Tori took a step forward and hugged her, remembering everything Jade had done for her. Still, Jade had one more surprise, and she wasn't the only one.

"Oh yay, group hug!" Cat squealed before hugging them both, the girls sharing a laugh. Right then, there was a knock on the door. Cat opened it and saw Andre and Beck standing there, suited up. They looked good, since they would go to that fancy restaurant they had discovered not too long ago.

"You guys ready to go?" Beck asked before walking over to Jade and giving her a kiss, Andre doing the same with Tori.

"Aw, phoey." Cat pouted, making the others chuckle.

"Sorry, we'll stop." Tori said.

"Aw phoey." Andre said, pouting himself, earning a playful slap on the shoulder from his girlfriend.

The gang went to the restaurant and sat down on the big table. The food was excellent and the live music just made the atmosphere better. They sat there and talked about the work they would soon engage. They were weeks away from getting their masters degrees couldn't wait to begin working.

"I can't wait to record my first album." Tori happily said.

"I can't wait to record your album." Andre told her with a grin. Many of the songs he wrote would be on it too, and he couldn't wait to watch her live her dream. She deserved it.

"Well, I just finished my script and I'm going to send it to my agent. He can then show it to the big companies." Jade announced herself.

"I hope I can play myself." Beck joked, making everyone chuckle.

"I just want some time off. Maybe travel the world a bit. I need to see more of it, just to increase my creativity." Cat told them. She didn't want to rush into work immediately.

"You think you can increase it?" Jade asked her, not thinking that it would be possible.

"Sure. There are so many things I want to see. It can only do well for me and my imagination."

"I think that's great. You always can learn more things. Maybe I'll do something like that myself." Tori said, supporting Cat's idea.

Their conversation seemed to come to a quick halt. The band nodded between them and began playing a song Tori was more than familiar with. She looked at the band surprised to find them playing _Wonderful tonight _by Clapton. Out of nowhere, Cat, Jade and Beck got up and walked away, leaving only Tori and Andre.

"W…w…what's going on?" Tori stuttered, looking at Andre. He stood up and helped Tori stand up, before suddenly dropping to one knee while still holding her hand. Tori felt her emotions overwhelm her, gasping and raising her other hand to cover her mouth. She looked around to see her friends looking at them, a wide smile on their faces. She then looked back at Andre.

"Tori, we've been through so much together in all those years. But no matter what happened, you were always the person that made me happy. You were always the one there for me. You were the one always supporting me when everything went wrong. Five years ago, when things couldn't get worse for both of us, we got together. Since that day, I swore myself I would make every day special for you. And now, after five years in which I only found myself loving you more after each day, I want to take it to the next lever. I want to make you smile every day, until the rest of our lives. I want to be there for you, no matter what. Tori, will you be my wife?" He asked before taking out a small box out of his pocket. He opened it to reveal a beautiful ring, graced by a rather big, shining stone.

Tori stood there, speechless, the band never stopping the music. Andre looked at her, growing more nervous by the second. He hoped that he hadn't just made a big fool out of himself. But relief soon came.

"Yes, I will!" Tori happily said, making Andre jump up and hug her tightly to him. He put the ring on her ring finger before the others joined in to congratulate them. The night ended with Tori and Andre dancing together to the song they had claimed theirs since Andre took her to the hill that one night.

The wedding came a few months later, being anything but modest. The family and friends were there, more than happy about the two. Tori had picked Trina to be her maid of honor, something that surprised Trina enough to make her shed a few tears before accepting. Beck was Andre's best man, something not surprising anyone after all the years of friendship they shared.

Just as tradition demanded, they received a lot of gifts, but Jade had one that neither Tori nor Andre would have ever imagined.

"After everything that happened, after all you have been through, I won't let life have even one laugh at you. So my gift is something I thought about since you told me and Cat at that chemo session about your inability to have kids. I offer you to be a surrogate for your child, if you want me to." Jade told her at the table, making everyone look at them surprised when they saw Tori jump up to hug her for dear life, thanking her a thousand times. Andre soon followed, not believing what she just offered them. She would give them the possibility to have a real family. Beck and Cat weren't surprised. Cat knew since that day while Beck had found out a few months later. He couldn't believe that she was willing to do something so selfless, but was more than proud when he realized that she meant it.

And she did mean it. Two years later, Tori took her up on the offer, and nine moths after that, Jade gave birth to a healthy baby girl. The kid wasn't hers biologically. She only carried it out for Tori, who had been unable to. Tori and Andre couldn't believe that they were holding their own flesh and blood, something they hadn't imagined would happen. And they made sure to remember, naming their daughter Jadelyn.

In the end, Jade was right. Life did offer them a happy ending. And they did deserve it.

The End.


	25. Author's Note

I just wanted to thank all of you for reading and reviewing. It meant a lot and motivated me to update almost daily. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

No, I won't make a sequel, since I think the ending was good enough, answered all questions and gave everyone a closure after the story.

I already have another idea for another story and will begin writing it in a few days.

Thank you all again.


End file.
